HR

VisualMom_

HR didnt believe her and love to hear stuff like this first-hand.

OzzyOzzyOzzyOiiOiOi

Told this woman at my work that when I think about her, blood rushes to my penis, and she told my Boss and now I have a meeting with HR tomorrow, can you believe that? You think I still have a chance ?

Substantial_Quail432

1 HR bb band is tightening down. Shit crash.

Substantial_Quail432

Good. I'm glad you made money on the 4HR chart spike but its still going down a lot lol

WorldlinessFit497

I'll be brutally honest. I'm a senior level software engineer with 20+ years experience, and I don't find anything on these course sites advanced or good. They are often riddled with bad coding habits and leave the students thinking they are ready to utilize a technology when they are only scratching the surface. That said, HR has slid many a resume across my desk that references Udemy content either directly or on a GitHub repository. They are clearly reaching a large audience. So while I would never use Udemy, and caution students to take the content with a grain of salt and supplement with plenty of reading on their own (RTFM)... I still think that they have a lot of potential to grow. And who's to say that Udemy doesn't take advantage of AI to produce content? My question would center more around the MC of $1.3B you referenced. What is the industry market size currently. Does this seem low? My initial gut reaction, having done no research, seems like this might be a bit on the low side. I could imagine $2B being very realistic, if not more. More people than ever are trying to shift careers into "coding" careers, and are looking for quick ways to gain skills. I hate it. Udemy loves it. I could learn to love it if it boosted my portfolio 80%+

MillionBEAR_

##BRING BACK 24 HR WALLY WORKDS AND $1 McChickies

Isaythereisa-chance

I had the flu once and my company  made me bring in a doctors note that day lol. The HR lady got so pissed at my boss after I showed the text to her and a doctors note that said I had the flu. I felt like crap but I laughed on the inside as I walked through the HR department. 

AirricK

I'm currently doing option 1 and every year I get an email from my old companies HR strongly suggesting I roll over the plan into a new one. I always reply that I'm content leaving it for now. Makes me wonder how much they are paying for it?

Sharp-Direction-6894

Sounds good. Run it by HR first though, and see if they can loan you that video on sexual harassment first though.

Icy_Extension_6857

Yeah… I am concerned about the mass exportation of call centers and IT. I have seen it lead to issues such as delays in resolving security threats (since they asleep over seas when it happens 😴). Also some call centers don’t even care about resolution just ending their call and mysteriously often times don’t have managers or supervisors. I personally had to file a complaint with my HR department about it…

someadviceplease4me

Apparently, shouting “I NEED YOU TO GO DOWN FOR ME” in a shared office is not always understood to be in a trading context. HR file just got thicker :(

WildConsideration376

😭.Take care..sincerely..HR manager

zxc123zxc123

Also the "investors" in TSLA are all fucking paper handed bitches, FD buying bitches, or whinny bitches. >TSLA had a +3% on revenue but a **-16.5% MISS ON EPS**. 2023 Q3+Q4 AND 24 Q1 were ALL MISSES on TOP AND BOTTOM. Yet TSLA is up year to date. AND the stock only went down less than 10%. And here you have OP whining like the fucking bitch he is. Compare that to Alphabet which >Beat Q3+Q4 2023 PLUS Q1 in 24 ON BOTH TOP AND BOTTOM LINES. >PLUS THAT Q1 BEAT INCLUDED A MASSIVE +25% BEAT ON EPS >Ad revs strong, chatGPT backed the fuck off, Alphabet slipping down cutting down useless fat like tiktok making HR shitters, also cut the morality police within in the AI teams. >Massive growth and earnings in cloud. So much they could just throw $23B+ at WIZ. >Youtube costs less to produce yet makes more money than NFLX. Now ALSO won NBA/NFL/livestreaming rights. >Instated a fucking dividend for the first time >MASSIVE forward guidence Down over -2%. But you don't see ALPHAbet investors bitching like OP on WSB.

swampwiz

With the exception of (possibly) 1 trade, I have not done anything at Vanguard than I had done 100s of times at TD Ameritrade, and at Schwab in the short time I've been with them. What I don't get is that if Vanguard is like this, why do they even allow the trades to take place in the first place? The bottom line is that Vanguard is a garbage brokerage for anyone that doesn't invest wholly in mutual funds - and don't get me started about their horrific estate servicing, or the fact that their HR seems to have an uncanny ability in finding a33holes in customer service (with 2 or 3 exceptions).

erfarr

I work at a bar we don’t have HR 

Noonhype45

Somebody’s getting summoned by HR the second they something she doesn’t like. Start looking lmao.

mcs5280

TSLA is prime example of why HR ladies filter out male applicants with autism

Forte-Selvaggia-0729

Thought that Workday was a company that sold HR software. Apparently it's a company that just sells its own shares. Gonna be a long time until earnings, yessir.

Wishy

HR sent a mass e-mail by mistake and my managers and higher up thought we got hacked. Yeah, there’s no way my company is going to switch.

Ok-Oven-7666

Welcome to your Denny's Alleyway Gloryhole servicer position. Please read the policies provided by HR.

Strider755

>The second question is going to be "can everyone else please step out so I can speak to them" as HR and security enter the room. "These people will stay here: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs and Burgdorf."

ChiefOfMasturbation

My manager emailed me warning if I wear a Proud Boys shirt into the office she will report me to HR Sounds pretty un-American

unikuenobody

Pretty sure the HR manager is not wearing panties these days. Should I ask her?

timboskin

Mid-Level Tech Executive here. Let me share some trade knowledge. First of all, nobody in most organizations gives a shit who their cyber threat detection platform is. Most CTOs probably don't have a clue. One greybeard on the cyber security team and Sheila in procurement are the only ones who know or care.  With that in mind, everybody cares a lot right now if they are on Crowdstrike. If there's another ready, fire, aim fuck up like this and my systems go down the first question is going to be "who made the decision to stick with Crowdstrike after they caused the largest global IT outage in human history?" The second question is going to be "can everyone else please step out so I can speak to them" as HR and security enter the room. No IT leader wants to risk being in that position, whether it's the greybeard in Cybersecurity or the CTO. If anyone's first order of business this morning wasn't kicking off their Crowdstrike End of Life Initiative, they should be fired for lack of political awareness. I can migrate every piece of infrastructure I have in less than 90 days. But I'll do it in phases, probably 1/4 at a time. They charge per endpoint that's monitored so you can bet they'll see impact to revenue sooner than later. Their other services (antivirus, network sniffing, etc) I could replace in four weeks or less. Contracts you say? I've got a legal department of 300 nasty as fuck lawyers plus outside council that will be chomping at the bit to sit in on that discussion with their legal team. Good luck with that. Growth is going to implode.

Own-Wolverine-5361

Congress is like the manager and HR

miata_only

Anyone else trading while their work pays them to watch HR videos with bad actors on how to be ethical?

DaGhostOfMarx

no one on the trading desk cared that I was a communist until I called Jamie Dimon a “megacuck manchild.” now I have HR mandated sensitivity trainings for 3 months

GeoLogic23

I mentioned Good Day Farm added HR8467 to their lobbying disclosure. The Convenience Distribution Association lobbies for tobacco issues, and they also have been lobbying for multiple issues related to hemp/CBD. The Convenience Distribution Association has also added HR8467 to their disclosure in the section where they previously provided for hemp issues. **On previous filing:** 2023 Farm Bill, generally Hemp-Derived Cannabidiol (CBD) regulations Hemp and Hemp-Derived CBD Consumer Protection and Market Stabilization Act Cannabis Administration and Opportunity Act **On current filing:** H.R.8467, Farm, Food, and National Security Act of 2024, Hemp related issues https://lda.senate.gov/filings/public/filing/71182a40-bba5-4b4f-8522-ed404bcaee8d/print/ https://lda.senate.gov/filings/public/filing/dd04328a-8e20-4bce-9bf5-4418c7c139e9/print/

GeoLogic23

Good Day Farm added the specific bill "HR 8467 Farm, Food, and National Security" to their most recent lobbying [disclosure](https://lda.senate.gov/filings/public/filing/2a2381eb-e551-4812-8d5f-9138b910bc9d/print/). Previously they were only lobbying for medical cannabis and the Farm Bill. HR 8467 was introduced by the House Ag Committee Chairman (Republican from PA) just a couple months ago, and has a whole section on [industrial hemp](https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/house-bill/8467/text) production, but as far as I can tell nothing else related to cannabis. Green Thumb Industries also slightly modified their lobbying disclosure on their most recent filing. Previously they were lobbying for the Farm Bill and for SAFE. Now [GTI is only lobbying for the Farm Bill](https://lda.senate.gov/filings/public/filing/499ed864-720e-455a-8ead-b77ea5e52462/print/).

sonofalando

my HR team panicked this week when they say me putting 80% of my paycheck into retirement 

happy_puppy25

No company’s RTO extends to the executives who demand it. My HR SVP made us all go back in yet he’s for some reason ok living out of state in his mansion in rural nowehere. Meanwhile we are in an EXPENSIVE city barely making ends meet living in shitty studios

K3wp

>If devs were pushing changes to a limited control group first before the entire world and observing telemetry before rolling out to more users then it would be fine if devs push straight to prod. You either didn't read what I wrote above, or didn't understand it, as this was the root cause of the outage (based on what has been released so far). The issue, as has been communicated, is that a release that was targeted for the QA channel got mistakenly pushed to the 'prod' channel. The 'fix' to this is put in controls to prevent this from happening in the first place. Devs shouldn't be able to push a driver file containing all 'zeroes' to prod, under any circumstances, period. I'm getting what the gap here is; I'm fine with devops/continuous delivery/agile/etc where appropriate and the stakes are relatively low. Pushing out windows kernel drivers to 8 million machines is not one of these scenarios. You should be thinking more about "Windows Updates" release pipelines, vs. web apps. The risk profile is 100% different. The change management process is also more of a HR/motivational process so that if there is an outage like this; it's on the team and their management vs. a single developer.

twostroke1

Says about 5000 based on my power meter and HR monitor calc.

Wonko-D-Sane

I presume it collects and reads system logs so illiterate humans who can’t configure policies are told by a pretty dashboard how they fucked up dynamically based on how “interesting” individual user/system/process logs are. given that I can freely pick up plain text passwords floating over the wires that are used to fuse private crypto keys into hardware, I find it kind of insulting that you stalk my system boot and consume 100% cpu at boot to figure out if your logging of DEI HR people is coherent

80MonkeyMan

SEC is like HR…they claimed to be your friend but clearly that is not true at all.

Killian9997

why cant options be 24 HR

brownhotdogwater

That right there is the issue. The fix is easy for an IT person. Good luck telling the HR lady how to do it.

Allinmoney

Last one at the office. And the receptionist. Should I see what’s up? But nothings gonna happen. It never does. *Edit I have a meeting with HR on Monday

Swollen_Beef

Intel can't keep half of its Ronler campus out of HR with bullshit my boss won't let me not work complaints and they contracted out TSMC because their capacity is ass.

floatyboats2

Exactly, because HR will change a cybersecurity title to a bullshit title like "IT Admin" or "IT Analyst" so they don't have to pay the industry standard and then wonder why they keep good security professionals in-house. Then when they get their sh\*t pushed in, the executives come to their senses and give the company an actual cybersecurity budget.

swiss_courvoisier

And local HR.... said no one ever.

BreakingAwfulHabits

I’m sure there are still reasons for 3rd party security since Jane in HR and John in payroll barely know what the power button does, but I can’t see justifying the cost vs training/hiring people to have a confident workforce.

VLD85

Could you please visit HR first thing in the morning next Monday? There is something to talk about with you, me, and Jessica.

optionsCone

Just take your unemployment and leave. I’m sorry HR didn’t do enough, Mr. Former Crowdstrike employee

Chicago-Jelly

1:30pm and I need a *drink* but HR says we can’t drink on the job. Can’t?.. hold my beer

ChiefOfMasturbation

Your HR lady is going slap your face with her dick

investorsanteDOTcom

Bruh... send a screenshot of the profits to HR via email and tell them to go broke... it's the only logical thing to do

Technical-Revenue-48

Things you can say to your portfolio but not to HR

sonofalando

HR sent me an email reminder that 90% of my paycheck is going to the S&P when it hits 

rationis

As useless as HR already was, DEI was even worse. My best friend works in HR for a Fortune 500 company in a remote capacity, as does most of the staff. It's nothing but a bunch of people making 150k/year gossiping through 3 hour long video conference calls in which work is rarely actually discussed. Half the meetings ended with them sending out emails covering much of the material they failed to cover in the meeting. The whole joke that "this could have just been an email" isn't actually a joke when it comes to HR.

liverpoolFCnut

My former employer, a midsized publicly listed company, created a DEI sub-division under the HR department. There was a SVP, several directors, managers, trainers etc. I estimate their annual budget was atleast $3m +. This was setup while simultaneously laying off hundreds of people including engineers, solution architects, critical BAs etc who were really the breadwinners for the company. It is amazing how shortsighted even multi-billion dollar companies can be.

Wonko-D-Sane

They rolled out a feature for me to pick my pronouns in office 365... it accepts Unicode so my pronouns in outlook contact are now "💩🌈🦄🐻" and HR can no longer lay me off me since I don't show up on their dashboards for equity nonsense. Mission failed successfully, when the fuck was this shit "business critical" fix your shitty software, stop pandering to pedantic stupidity

_FriendlyFire

Gap up opportunity on SOFI on the Daily / 4 HR

Killian9997

imagine if they open up options to 24HR

NotMe357

Future is waiting for Robindhood 24HR before make a move 

ChiefOfMasturbation

I think I'm going to take a mental health  day tomorrow after what happened at the PA rally If my manager rejects it, I will file an HR complaint 

Okinawa_Mike

I recommend you make the necessary percentage adjustment now in order to maximize the employee match. I saw another person recommend talking to your HR about it, but I wouldn't trust them with my money. The math's pretty simple and better to be on the safe side.

drempaz

I’ve met several genuinely intelligent and well-read BOH kitchen staff. I can’t say the same for HR

NVDAismygod

If you work in HR you’re low IQ and should be flipping patties instead

Kellanova

HR legit sex freaks

DeeDee_Z

You may want to talk to the help line AT THE CUSTODIAL firm -- this is a level of minutae that most HR offices don't always know correctly.

Rebelcr7

As someone who used to work in corporate security, “hackers” are never actually hacking. 99% of the time, some idiot handed them all the information they needed over the phone just because they said they were HR.

kad202

With DEI engineering and DEI HR? Get real

EllisDee3

HR

Killian9997

Am I a regard or do I see a double bottom on amzn 4HR timeframe

spiritof_nous

...like HR has any idea how to make an electric car or space vehicle...GTFOH...

z34conversion

Are you saying he's has a part of all hiring? I'm not super informed on that aspect, but I've done HR enough to know it's unlikely. >Whole countries can't even manage to do it Curious if you perceive that as a difference in knowledge, leadership, or merely the amount of outsized control Elon tends to take compared to a country's national efforts.

Worldly-Aioli9191

Scheduling meetings, Telling employees which cubicle to sit at or passing them instructions from HR to write their own annual evaluation is serious work. Don’t sleep on the enormous contributions that most managers make!

TanSuede

Do you work at an elementary school? I feel like like a work talent show is asking to have an HR nightmare

herejusttolooksee

Yes. I meant like new responses in regards to a service or product, new customer programs like loyalty programs, changed policies such as return policies. All those create new situations that can impact a chat AI and open the door to new unintended hallucinations or new jailbreaks risks. Companies are never static, and they’ll need a dev team to constantly address chat AI behavior. The same is true for internal usage, though there is more tolerance there and less risk. Still legal or HR advice misrepresented can be worrisome legally speaking.

PlutosGrasp

A whole ton of senior personnel have left tesla recently. * Drew Baglino, Tesla’s head of powertrain and electrical engineering * Rohan Patel, the vice president of public policy and business development * Anthony Thurston, a senior manager of cathode materials and manufacturing at Tesla * Allie Arebalo was the Senior Director, North America HR * Zachary Kirkhorn stepped down as CFO * Rebecca Tinucci, the chief of Tesla Charging Infrastructure * Daniel Ho, the chief of new product introduction * Martin Viecha, VP of Investor Relations

DemandOk5785

Same bee in a hard hat stung him in Gooch later that day, and he opened up a HR case for harassment.

Ebomb1987

Im actually mad this once I set such a hign stoploss on SGNX. Profit is profit. However, for me, I actually get a "euphoric" feeling about being right & tilted when im dead wrong. I was in the middle on this stock I would've been up over 100% even buying it over 300% from yesterday's close. Ughh I paper handed my 7/12 SPWR $2 calls earlier. I played ZAPP very well so far today. I would love to see SMR & NNE recover & close down -6% or less but they either hit 52 week highs yesterday or in NNE's case close to it. So a correction was inevitable. This all pails in comparison to when I flopped a set last night when I was the BB & SB was chip leader & called my 65% pot sized bet on the flop, all in on the turn & he got a runner runner straight. To make it worse if the final card was the 7 of clubs my flush beats his straight. I came in 7th but would've been in great position to win it all or top 3 ez. Now all that combined doesn't even come close to when the Yankees were up 3-1 against the Red Sox last week, 9th inning, 2 outs & I believe 0-2 count & he gives up a hit, next batter 0-2 count & gives up a HR to a guy who had (I think 2) all season prior to that. Then they lose by 2 in extra innings 1 legging every parlay I had them to win or +1.5... No point of dwelling on the past tho, I don't have a time machine (yet) 😂

benj760486

HR wants to see you in their office

Ebomb1987

Or getting 1 legged on a parlay because ythe team gives up a hit & then a HR when there were 2 outs & 0-2 counts on both batters... I know this is oddly specific lol

Opposite-Layer-6139

Condolences. At least it was the HR manager rather than an underling. That means they really wanted you the fuck out!

SilentHillFan12

Hey bros I went into work this morning and HR and my manager were just sort of waiting there for me and ambushed me, and we had a talk and it turns out I'm fired now

trainwreck001

Tesla HR hires a fresh batch of interns periodically to remind Elon hae actually has a job at Tesla and to show up from time to time. 

_SpaceGator

Instructions unclear, showed HR my PP.

outphase84

> $150K-200K per year AI if the AI can work 24/7 $150K-200K per year is based on 2000 hours annually. Scale that figure up to $600K-1M for it to work 24/7. > does not report to HR You still need humans that do require HR in order to actually utilize the AI services. > can be copied ten million times Sure, you could copy it ten million times. At an additional $600K-1M per instance. So, congrats on now spending $6T?

Ormusn2o

Would it not pay to replace $60K-100K/year human with a $150K-200K per year AI if the AI can work 24/7, does not report to HR and when you train it, can be copied ten million times? And then it improves 3 years later with new version.

benji3k

He is a 63 year old half Native American who lives alone and drinks all day. I know he has problems and was nice to him but wasn’t expecting he would sexually assault me like this . Okay I may go to HR

CryptosianTraveler

A 401ks, all types, and IRAs, all types have completely separate income limits. YES, keep that 401k, and put in the max for your age if you can. If not, find out if your company has a "match" program, and be sure you contribute enough to get the maximum match (essentially free money from your company). As for IRAs, the different types are not separate limits., which is the same with 401k types. Even if you had an account for every type of IRA out there you still have to stay at or below the yearly contribution limit across all of the IRAs in total. Lastly, if you have insurance with an HSA be sure to contribute the annual max to the HSA. HSAs while strictly for medical expenses before age 65, basically become like STANDARD IRAs after 65. A lot of larger companies make this type of education available for free through a partner. Check with your HR dept to see what's available for retirement planning.

w3bCraw1er

Just like the HR department works for protecting the company and not employees, similarly, none of the government entities, including Supreme Court, SEBI, SEC etc., is there to protect common people. It's all a sham and setup by the rich and powerful to protect their black deeds. They know that the common people are powerless and have no time to fight the system.

Alec_NonServiam

Heads up that you may be able to convince your HR department to enable "Fidelity brokeragelink" if you don't already have access to it. From what I understand, it isn't expensive if they already have an agreement with Fidelity, just requires a little setup. With brokeragelink you can invest in anything you'd normally be able to with a standard Fidelity brokerage account. Check into it!

NotMe357

Damn, TSLA already over 250$ on Robindhood 24HR

Otherwise-Growth1920

Report them to HR.

Mcdolnalds

Last week on Friday was shooting the shit with my boss at 5pm heading out the door. My awkward motherfucking coworker stumbles in and we ask what he’s got planned for the weekend. He holds us for 30 minutes telling us how he’s attempting to overcome his social anxiety and how depressed he’s been. Completely killed the mood and neither of know what to say, but 30 minutes later, for HR reasons my boss and I know we address how awkward that was, but just killed the mood entirely lmao. If you have social anxiety, don’t bring it up immediately lmao. Just act fucking confident, or at least sit there and laugh

thrice18

Please show me a screen shot of the posting.  You are saying your compnay didnt have enough money for a job, so it paid money to post a fake job? And the purpose was? 99.9% of the ghost jobs did exists. Things happen, the biggest reason for ghost postings is the HR department doesnt take the role down after it fills or is eliminated. The postings are timed and will fall off anyway, so they dont take the extra time to remove something it will expire automatically.

retard_trader

You just type your account # and the form number into a box on like HR Block or Turbotax and it does everything

thrice18

This is absolutely not true. My wife has done HR for > 10 years at a fortune 100 company. Posting roles costs money and time. They are 100% required to have approvals from multiple parts of the business to put roles up.  If they took the time to post roles they want it filled.

Touch_My_Donut_Hole

The IT chick said i cant put my dongle in her machine. Im going straight to HR. 

ReddPope81

I'll ask HR

BirdoInBoston

This is the way. and always forget HR. They’re solely there to protect the company no matter what they tell you.

zaepoo

Forget HR. Go find an attorney

Coldsavage32

I’ve went to HR today because he’s been and asshole since then and seems to be trying to get me fired. All I got from HR was “we’ll get back to you until then go back to work” fml

GeneralZaroff1

Right now, through companies increasing output and decreasing staffing costs. Almost anyone you talk to in corporate HR right now are seeing cuts across the board. AI isn’t replacing full roles, but they can streamline low level processes and repetitive, low impact work so that a 3 person team can do what 5 used to. That means 2 salaries turned to profit, while increasing output by 15-20%. Most tasks at this level are time consuming but require little oversight, like turning documents into tables, crafting excel formulas, putting together presentations, or mass edit emails based on existing templates.

ImaginaryPatient3333

Hello, this is Boeing HR. You're hired

Amerlis

Til you attend an all hands org meeting and for some strange reason, your job title isnt anywhere on there… How the HR director that brought us on board found out she no longer has a job.

flamegrandma666

Yup it spells trouble for nvidia. Their HR is probably shitting their pants