HR

eberry707

How do I invest in that company where the CEO was banging that old HR chick

LOTWAdminTanner

If you’re talking about literal baseball always put a HR bet on jose ramirez

Smooth-Exhibit

Even an expense ratio of 35 basis pts is high for an S&P 500 index fund. Reach out to HR and pressure the person who manages the investment options to do better.

Ok_Try_2086

You can get better returns outside Target Date Funds. My last 401k was administered and held at Fidelity. In this plan we had a great feature albeit seemingly never advertised named Brokerage Link. Brokerage Link allows you to invest in whatever you want and are therefore not bound to the often shite options HR offers you; have a look. If you dont have this feature and are forced to select from a menu, find an index fund and go all in. Another thing to ask about is if you have access to a 401k Roth. Had i known about this when i was your age, i would never have used my 401k. Its after tax contributions, still qualifies for matching however it grows tax free (like a 401k) however there are no taxes paid when you withdraw money when you’re able to legally.

Minimum_Ordinary_243

Realizing I had to disclose every pumpfun solana memecoin transaction to play by the rules tax wise was a humbling and giga cringe experience Something like 1,900 transactions, grand total P/L of like -$1500 Lady at HR Block just looked at me like wtf Live and learn lmao

Golfi_Cat

UUUU - HR here: You are hired

Sufficient_Winner686

You’ve gotten lucky so far. I started my run in options in simulators, to make sure I would get the results I expected which would indicate total understanding. So, with that said, explain to us why you found success. You’re expecting a market crash as trade deals are signed and the Fed chair isn’t getting fired (duh lol). Explain how that makes sense? We have slight inflationary pressure, but not like it was at 10%. You can be absolutely right about long term stock prospects and still be crushed by beta. Stop, go download a simulator, go figure out how the options strategies work, pick three companies, learn everything about them and their executives, and then and only then can you begin following the news stories to stay on top of sentiment and intrinsic value. Guarantee a lot of people going long on Astronomer went short with puts after it came out he was fucking his head of HR.

ShadowLiberal

HR can fuck up in really strange ways with insurance. Years ago I signed up for health insurance as usual with my employer, and everything looked good, the right amount of money was being deducted from my paycheck/etc. Then I had a surgery that consumed my entire annual deductible. I had switched to a more expensive plan with a much lower deductible that year, only to then find out that my deductible was still somehow the higher amount of my old plan even though I was paying the higher amount in my bi-weekly pay check. Long story short, somehow I was signed up to a plan with the same cost (to me anyway) as the plan I had actually selected, but with the same higher deductible as my plan from the prior year. This plan wasn't even an option offered by my employer! It was a nightmare that took a few months to get fixed, and then a few more months to get back money I had overpaid the hospital with the deductible.

MrCockingFinally

>expert labor in the US. Not enough for Intel to scale fast enough. So many fucking industries in the USA complain about labour shortages. Utter fucking nonsense. If companies want skilled labour, they used to train people, and treat them well to stay in the company long term. But companies in the US want to hire someone with all the skills and experience needed. And what the CEOs and RFOs and HR managers are too fucking stupid to understand is that people don't just magically pop up with skills and experience.

AltruisticOven2279

Sounds like your HR fucked up

taplar

You would have to ask your HR department if they can tell you why the change was made. It may have been a recommendation some 3rd party recommended and the company just did it to remove themselves from the liability.  As for what to invest in now, we have no way of knowing what all is offered in your specific 401k plan. 

Yiplzuse

They literally told me my HR did not reup my insurance. I kept getting $23,000 bills for an emergency room visit for a year. When I questioned HR about it the head of HR threatened me. I got fired less than two years after the accident. They finally paid but charged me 2x more than my deductible and I never got any rehab beacause they fought me tooth and nail. Criminals!

Bob_the_peasant

HR got him

Organic-Lie4759

November is going to kick their ass when HR refuses their open enrollment bids at fortune 500 companies

Slight-Recipe-3762

Go to your HR guy. I mean does your employer know that you have a new one? Best person your HR guy.

Touch_My_Anoos

**BREAKING: Head of HR is having a the way with Sidney Sweeney and the former CEO’s wife.**

Otterpoopie

**BREAKING: SPY CEO fires for mistaking Sydney Sweeney for head of HR.**

Extension-appeal

My HR lady sent me the meme that says “if cold play taught me anything it’s that you can’t trust HR” I think she wants my cock

CEOofBeanz

Imagine cheating on your beautiful wife with an older woman in HR and losing millions of dollars per year because of it

pinghing

I'm surprised Tesla is doing bad even though Elon is now head the head of Tesla marketing, sales, service, delivery,manufacturing, engineering and HR.

Healthy_Loan_991

Like I said, there will be some home runs. That HR is still in flight if you bought back then

Otterpoopie

Musk allowed to say literally lie to its stockholders and yet still CEO. Astronomer CEO goes out with his side piece head of HR and yet gets fired. 🤌🤌

Lethalmouse1

I'll be honest, I have things set up that if I die, my wife will drastically underperform what I am doing. But she has zero interest in doing this work, getting into it.  The advisor factor means she will be reasonably successful and set to not have stress.  Within that frame, there are some products and processes that she might end up in that I would never really do. But, it won't matter when you consider the fact that it is "good enough" and solves all stress.  I mean, anyone who wants to put in 80-100 hours a week, could make bank making a small business themselves, but most people just work a job. And have HR handle their shit.  In my case, I have intense life insurance, so the baseline of her if she is advised, means zero issues even at like 60-75% of master market playing. 

old_knurd

I'm not convinced that UNH looks good in the intermediate term. Right now UNH has a reputation for being the worst in terms of denying claims. Under normal circumstances, that's OK for an employer who wants to reduce their health care costs. Sure, their employees suffer, but "sucks to be them". But we are not in normal circumstances. Thanks to Luigi, average employees are learning that UNH sucks. So then they ask their managers and their HR: "why do we have insurance through UNH?" So UNH has a reputational risk. If businesses and individuals don't renew their insurance policies, UNH might look a lot worse in 2027 than it does now. Having said all that, I agree that the stock won't go to $0. Buying at $210 is probably OK. Just know that there's a lot of feces all over that pig of a stock. It's not a good company IMO.

Rich-Contribution-84

Well the tax advantaged accounts that you’ll most likely want to start with will be through your employer. You should reach out to your HR or benefits team and ask how to set up automated contributions, preferably to a minimum of whatever they’ll match. They will give you instructions. Do you work for a private business? A non profit? Or a government entity? If it’s a private company, they’ll likely offer a 401(k). Find out how much they’ll match. Once you’ve fully taken advantage of the match, find out if you’re eligible for an HSA. If so, get the match there, too. After you’ve fully taken advantage of both matches, the next step is to set up that Vanguard account. The type of account you’ll want to open is PROBABLY a Roth IRA. Maybe a regular IRA. You can buy pretty much any ETF or publicly traded company on the market in the Vanguard accounts. If you’re able to max the trad or Roth at $7,000/year on top of the min matches on your employer accounts, the next step will be to finish maxing those employer sponsored accounts. If you do all of those things, you will have invested about $35,000/year. Only after doing all of these does it make sense to open a taxable account with Vanguard or whatever brokerage. If you need help setting up the Vanguard accounts, just call 877-859-5756 and ask for assistance.

2nd_yr_cs

Why coldplay? I don’t have anything going with my HR 🤔

cl0udNinja

You will be fine, HR probably is sick the manager will follow up with them Incase they forgot. You got this, congrats!

EnginrA

Did you orally pleasure the HR lady? They won’t send the offer letter until you do that

Extension-Ad-5341

The HR told me I’ll get the offer letter on Monday. But it’s Tuesday and I didn’t get the offer letter yet. He gave the verbal offer last week. Should I be nervous? Or sometimes it gets delayed to send the offer letter? 😭

Extension-Ad-5341

The HR told me that the hiring manager will return from vacation on Monday and then send me the internship offer letter to sign it. The HR gave me verbal offer last week. But it Tuesday 3:30pm, why I’m still not receiving the offer letter? I’m getting nervous on what if they decide to cancel the offer? Because it’s still verbal , right? 😥😥😥

Valkorion335786

Imagine the internal emails from HR to the staff at OPEN regarding their 401Ks

skilliard7

Workday is used for a lot of back end processes, not just hiring, but I still think HR spends way too much on it for what it does.

Akermaniac

I’m not sure you fully understand the industry. It can be very much feast or famine. I’m looking at Sterling, they have openings for some commercial work right now—that does not guarantee they’ll have it when whatever big project they have is done. That’s the problem with many trades heavily involved in commercial, like construction or electricians. Unless you’re willing to jump from employer to employer you’ll go through stretches without work. That doesn’t mean nobody is hiring. It does mean it’s not always possible to get 40 hours a week in this environment. I also do not think you understand how recruiting websites work, or the hiring process. There are 254 HR openings on Ziprecruiter in Seattle. That doesn’t mean it’s super easy to get into HR and that everyone should go get an HR degree to meet a high-demand job.

vasion123

There's the exit. Good afternoon to all of the new $OPEN bagholders.  Lisa from HR is here to help you fill out your onboarding paperwork and Mike will be ready to start your training on putting the fries in the bag.  Happy to have you all with us!

osified

That's when you take your HR director to a cold play concert so you're forced out of the company.

racks_long

Can we send the RDDT CEO to a Coldplay concert with the head of HR already

racks_long

Can we send the RDDT CEO to a Coldplay concert with the head of HR already

Overall-Fold-9720

>IBM REPLACES ABOUT 200 HR ROLES WITH AI AGENTS Who's going to watch Coldplay with the CEO now ...

d07wEQr5OSbWujQSIzZI

Show him the pic of him and his HR director side piece at the Coldplay concert. He’ll shut up.

Metacog_Drivel

Imagine if the Astronomer CEO and the HR lady just acted cool and didn't cause a huge scene...they probably would have gotten away with it just fine.

ScrewChaseBank

Imagine being a Chad CEO in your absolute peak years and throwing your life away for some old ran through ass HR pussy.

GoZukkYourself

You have been reported to HR.

crazier_ed

Any DD on whether the HR lady is single and ready to mingle?

Montyprice7206

Cheating is gross, but I can sympathize with the sheer panic the CEO and HR lady felt Someone once looked at my port

Bitcoin401k

My thoughts.. you are right but we don’t have real tariff data available until 2026 if it starts 8/1. Some tech is overvalued. 670 PE ratios for PLTR is ubsurd. Companies will get more profitable as layoffs happen due to AI(see microsoft replace HR with AI).. Market go up, whole main street gets destroyed.  

Bitcoin401k

My thoughts.. you are right but we don’t have real tariff data available until 2026 if it starts 8/1. Some tech is overvalued. 670 PE ratios for PLTR is ubsurd. Companies will get more profitable as layoffs happen due to AI(see microsoft replace HR with AI).. Market go up, whole main street gets destroyed.  

Happy_Discussion_536

Start a SPAC. Say you're a vehicle exclusively for raising money to invest in WNBA which is going to be the biggest league in the world. You love and respect wahmen. Build it up to skyhigh valuations. Pretend to have a falling out with your retarded son. Have him buy puts for you. Go to a coldplay concert with the hot HR head. Get fired and forced to divest everything. Puts print.

QanonQuinoa

A woman who’s gonna stay at home and then f around with a career driven woman. Preferably one in HR.

Virtual-Moose5921

Point on this doll when HR hurt you

NOT_A_OFFICER

~~I'm starting to think that all HR directors look like they have hairy buttholes.~~ I'm ***beginning*** to think that all HR directors look like they have hairy buttholes. This Grammarly plugin with AI autocorrect is totally worth it.

skymagic

She’s a 10 but she doesn’t want to CEO/HR role play and is threatening to call my wife 😩

Overall-Fold-9720

Luigi : shoots a CEO. Get international fame Astronomer HR : gets backshots from a CEO. Get international fame Starting to see a pattern here

CalRippedken

She's a 10 but she's your HR lady

GoZukkYourself

The Astronomer CEO has inspired me to shoot my shot with Pam in HR. I'm inviting her to Happy Hour at Houlihan's.

rriggsco

Did HR suspend him?

OptionSellingRegard

all events are pre planned, they prob wanted to out that CEO, and they succeeded. And any time memes spread, the masses sheep are distracted and entertained. CEOs daughter allegedly started an OF, she gets her 15 min of fame. The HR lady will start her own biz bc now she’s “famous”, everything is PR…the bread and circus will continue hey you guys want regular or truffle fries?

Ok_Cry7572

CEO and HR executive, already in an affair, invited the younger new hire to the concert with the intention of involving her in a sexual threesome

tomis_24

Heard on the street, OPEN CEO was asked to go to a Coldplay concert with their Head of HR. It has something to do with [astronomer.io](http://astronomer.io) becoming a household name in data operations.

rriggsco

What about HR lady?

borat_he_like_you

Astronomer CEO: Relax baby, there's nothing to hide. Let's show the world how much we love each other Astronomer HR Chief: ok baby ❤️ 😍 Kiss, crowd cheers and erupts Astronomer CEO: Kristin, I love you. I'm going to divorce my wife tomorrow. I've never been so happy when I'm with you.

Ok-Charge1983

Thinking about heading to a Coldply concert with this chick from HR, what do you guys think?

notouthere94

How do you think she got to become HEAD of HR

-IQ200

My HR girl pretty chill & we’re both in serious relationship. Thinking of inviting her to a 2-person group bonding event at the Coldplay show.

smart_doge

My CEO, CPO, and someone from HR went for a team-bonding event at some musical concert. That’s okay, and fine, but why wasn’t I invited to this event?

rahhak

~~Head of HR~~ Head from HR

NOT_A_OFFICER

I bet that HR lady purposefully paid someone to get her and the ceo on camera. Bitches are crazy.

LordHussyPants

not just the HR lady, the HR executive

Valkorion335786

Yes because HR is a breeding den of monsters I advocate a HR-less workplace

Virtual-Moose5921

And stop fucking HR

kangis_khan

CEO of a company called Astronomer caught having an affair with the HR lady at a Coldplay concert. They were caught on the big screen from one of the live cameras that was filming the audience. As soon as the camera cut to them, they tried to duck out of frame, but by then it was too late. Coldplay's lead singer pointed it out live and said, "Either they're having an affair or he's just shy!" Now the entire internet is focused on it and it has become a meme. Brutal 😂

No-Shoulder9468

For some reason, sweeping over social media news is a CEO caught cheating with the head of HR (?) at a Coldplay concert. Company name is like Astronomy?

NiceOwner

HR department is the gay bears final boss

NiceOwner

I knew I always fucking hated the HR department. Worthless ass job position. Dancing all day and flying out for fun.

Ok_Cry7572

Never ask; - A woman her age - A man his salary - HR about their own HR violations

2muchnet42day

I absolutely LOVE the Coldplay KISS-CAM DISASTER—guy caught with his HR mistress, ducking like a SCARED RAT! Total AFFAIR energy! Chris Martin tries to joke—FLOP! Wife dumps him, HR lady DIVORCED! This is what happens under Sleepy Joe and the Dems —ZERO morals, NO shame! So SAD!! Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Montyprice7206

Can’t get in trouble with HR if you’re banging HR *morgan freeman pointing emoji*

Prestigious-Ice-2742

Boy, the plebes sure are having fun with the CEO and HR lady video aren’t they? I mean, just confirms what we all knew, doesn’t it?

MillionBEAR_

"Mom, how did we get so rich?" "Your dad hugged an HR lady at a Coldplay concert and I got 50% from the divorce"

will0593

Exactly that. The ceo of some company and his HR chief were caught in an embrace at a Coldplay concert. But they reacted so shadily that it was obvious they were not together in friendship

Valkorion335786

Astronomer CEO fumbled the bag, marriage, and HR compliance all during *’A Sky Full of Stars’*

SpareSupermarket1708

Exactly my question. I want to put all my money into that hot HR director.

Montyprice7206

Can’t get in trouble with HR if you’re banging HR *morgan freeman pointing emoji*

cozy_vegetarian

Also who would sleep with someone who works in HR that's the most antisexual corporate job that exists

maosta

That HR chick was kind of mid. That was probably the whitest way to get caught cheating

The_real_Covfefe-19

*HR you*

Fedex119

Yes it's possible. You can likely just contribute the 4300 in one lump sum if you want. I would suggest contributing the max through payroll though. Just ask your HR how it works.

khc52618

Sure did.. unfortunately HR person said they were not well versed in what it all means (I know, pretty unacceptable) and I was told they would try to get the answers and get back to me.

Indiana-Irishman

Jeez. Didnt you ask HR questions?

rickochetl

If the contract says “options” You should ask HR to clarify the options strike prices and expiration dates. Otherwise ask if they are RSUs. These are not the same.

scm66

Which one of you is married to the HR lady at Astronomy?

RamenLife_

Yes, but the chief of HR will investigate it and find no wrongdoing

kalakesri

If the CEO and the chief of HR are having an affair do they have to report it to HR?

Commercial_Stress

If your new company does not provide you with a written explanation of how your options work, be sure to ask someone in HR to explain it to you until you understand how options work. This is very important. Until you understand the mechanics of options you won’t be able to make the right choice on how to handle your options. This can cost you a lot of money in the long run. Also, just my opinion, but don’t automatically exercise your options and sell the stock as soon as your options vest, especially if you think the company has a bright future. You’ll be surprised how much the value of a good company’s stock can appreciate over a four or five years.

BlessedOvum

she is the HR director

TALLBRANDONDOTCOM

Ceo banging head HR lady. Revealed at Coldplay show.

Ok_Cry7572

"Mom, how did we get so rich?" "Your dad hugged an HR lady at a Coldplay concert and I got 50% from the divorce"

KittyLover-7

Not long till we see Elon with 4 HR ladies in a robotaxi getting sucked off whilst the car skips through red lights and merges onto the wrong side of the highway

moorhound

If you're going to use company tickets to cheat with your Head of HR at least spring for the suite, camera guys know not to shoot those or there'd be C-level busts every day lmao

andyman268

Keep all HR ladies away from Jensen and Vlad you hear me

Affectionate_Fly7659

Why can’t I have an affair with a hot HR and go to concerts 😔