JD

Better-Call-SauI

Have you remembered to say thank you to Corrupt Don and his indian-loving lackey JD?

TomatoSpecialist6879

JD Vance just blamed Joe for the current rising gas prices lmao how is this timeline real

bighomiej69

Believe it or not, that’s kind of what we would need to do in order to end the war and prevent a catastrophe. If we impeached Trump, and JD says to Iran “This guy was senile and a criminal, we are investigating him and we’ll likely throw him in jail. Let’s have peace, Americans don’t want to fight this war started by this lunatic. Just promise not build a nuke.” The problem is that JD Vance is actually a whiny. He has no idea that he’s in the perfect spot right now to seize power, or he’s just too much of a softy to do it. I mean it, JD Vance could probably talk to enough republicans to have Trump impeached and seize the presidency tomorrow In any other scenario unfortunately this breaks out into a large tragedy

vanadios

Hi everyone. This is Pete Hasegsth from the Department of War. I have been lurking in this group for a while and like you guys a lot. This is an important weekend for all of us, and I want to share some tips that might be helpful with your trades. Prior to this operation, the President, I, Marco, and JD all agreed that an American and Israelis occupation of Iran is unlikely to work out, but a political restructuring led by a coalition of Arab states in the Persian Gulf might do the job. There is still the Sunni/Shia thing to resolve, but it is easier for them to gain trust from the Iranian populace. Our allies don't seem willing to do that on our (and Bibi's) behalf, so our strategies are thus designed with only one goal in mind: to provoke the Iranians to attack the civilians and infrastructures of the neighboring Arab states to an extent that they will be willing to put troops on the ground to neutralize the threats from Iran. This is a simple point that leads to non-conventional strategies, as what we want to destroy is not Iran's defense and industrial capacity, but Qatar's and the Saudi's. We want to inflict pain on our enemies, but also on our cowardly friends. At times, you will wonder why we seem incompetent in defending our allies, or why we make mistakes leading to outrageous civilian casualties, or why our rhetoric focuses on enraging and mocking Iran rather than doing actual work. They are all parts of the plan! Please be patient with our long game, and remember to close your shorts and switch to calls when there is a rumor that the UAE is going to attack Iran. That's all. I have to deal with some PR bullshits now. This afternoon, I said there will be "no quarter" for the Iranian army, thinking it means no mercy, but it turns out that is against the Geneva Convention or something. The more you know! Good luck to all the patriots here tonight! Thank you for your attention to this matter. We will talk again soon.

CapybaraDrama

No deal, JD Vance. I know how you like to “surf” couches.

GRID_GHST

Bomb anything but the oil, got it. It appears he has to write out these long posts just to justify that all of the bs he’s writing makes sense to him and he believes it. Truth social where whatever he says is the truth to the uneducated. Innocent lives lost for this stupid clown and his squad of minions. Everything he blames on others is a reflection of himself and his actions. They are raping girls! (He’s a rapist), they are killing innocent people (he’s a killer), they are stealing resources and not giving us a cut! (He’s a crook and a thief), they are suppressing their people and are a terrorist organisation! (He’s a wanna be dictator and a terrorist), they are religious fanatics with crazy religious ideas! (He’s a walking mega church with almighty cheeseburger god on his shoulder thinking he was born to free the world and deserves a Nobel prize). He’s a hypocrite and a dumbass who’s going to kill more people and continue to destroy the world all because Israel has him bent over a sofa with JD watching and a stack of the Epstine files on the side.

emporium4648

Iran allowed India to pass 2 of its LNG tankers through the Strait of Hormuz in exchange for the release of 3 Iranian oil tankers that had been seized by India, according to reports. The era of free passage through the Strait of Hormuz is over. Iran is collecting debts in exchange for sea passage. If any American vessel wants to pass, we must forst see a threesome between JD, Pete and Karolin. Melanie will be directing the scene!

tika_dengu

Ask not what your couch can do for you - ask what you can do for your couch. - JD Vance

Soffatjockis

Why don't the US send their most lethal weapon? JD Vance. Every guy he met in person has died shortly after

Longjumping_Tree6561

JD VANCE ASKED WHAT HE WOULD DO DIFFERENT IF HE WERE THE PRESIDENT, REPLIES WITH: “Just whatever makes sense”.

MuricanWisecrack

is JD Vance as Potus bullish or more bearish? (can it even be more bearish?)

BrokeDickRizz

I’m not a gay basher, I am bi as fuck. I lived in Thailand for 3 years and you cannot imagine the ladyboy bussy I smashed. #PETER THIEL IS AN ACTUAL F SLUR. JD VANCE IS AN ACTUAL GAY BOY BITCH.

BrokeDickRizz

Yall don’t want to hear this, but Hillary wants to get fucked in the ass less than JD.

BrokeDickRizz

I guarantee you Peter thiel sucked JD Vance’s dick. No way a gay dude makes a “friend” like that without establishing a little dominance. It explains the eyeliner for Vance. First trans Pres

nanobot_1000

JD Vance salivating

Leather_Mention5916

JD Vance wat wer the last words of mad Donny before you stabbed him in the back! JD: the same he said for weeks, tarrif.. tarrif them all..

Full_Pear449

BS-ECON/JD,, MBA Capital Markets, MS- Applied Statistical Analysis. 25+ YRS trading Equities, 5yrs Head of Desk. Yes condescending, And yes you are wrong. Bretton Woods Agreement CIRCA 1944..the dollar as legal tender in the states replaced the pound as the dominant global commodity trading currency following World War I, and solidified this role in 1944. This lesson is free.

DingleJingle_

Hey bears, can you chase JD vance out of that cave you are all hiding in so he can take some responsibility?

neverthy

Btw since this war started JD Vance disappeared

Traditional-Ad-5868

She looks like JD Vance.

jraiv420

Own 10 USO shares call me JD Rockefeller 😎🤙

Stercules25

I know I am not being \*serious\* but run any p/fv or p/e:sector analysis and you're top 10 will be a mix of $ADBE, $PDD, $SE, $CRM, $ORCL, $BABA, $TECHY, $JD, $SNOW, Etc. Usually with chip makers sprinkled in and $META lol I just am at some point saying these names are getting killed and the upside is there

Top-Positive6537

JD has been doing well since ER hoping for a $30 move. Charts hot though on the short term.

Imaginary-Media-2570

What masters degree ? It this some skill that could make you a better or more highly paid lawyer (already a Ph.D = JD) ? You are currently paying a **MARGINAL** 29.4% on debt - Is the extra degree worth the cost ? Get rid of **all** CC debt - **ASAP** ! I'd give up luxuries like toilet paper before I'd pay 25-30% interest. Seriously, learn to live on less. Do pay off the car loan next - - there is no safe investment that returns 9.59% Assuming that you're single, and live in a low tax state, you're *net* income is \~ $80k or a bit less. If you have say $240k student debt at 6% interest that eats up \~18% of net. So do you mean you'll service the student loan debt AND save 10% of net ? That's a good number. At 33yo with a reliable income stream need ZERO bonds. Bonds are for ppl who will need the money back w/in <10 years. I'm not a fan of Vanguard VTI - it is still concentrated in the Mag7, and "total market" means you own a lot of duds. Also "equal weighted" funds are a very poor idea IMO. Instead look for a 'growth' 'quality' (profitability) funds.

johnniesSac

JD Vance already wrecked 43 of them

kineticstar

Objection!!! She supervised the construction of one, over the internet, 10 years ago, as an outreach counselor to disable children with no arms because they didn'tbelievein Jesus. With a background like that she should be perfect judge of character to help foster out future Air and Space fighters! Or she's JD's sofa replacement and needs more illegal income!

frankslastdoughnut

https://youtu.be/JD6REGB8Vu4?si=MmdD9kKr3Y6bLtgL this interview with Adam taggert And the kerry landis (board member) interview from the metal investors forum in late February

McKoijion

I don't even want to think about what JD is doing to that poor chair.

HandsomeTod11

Bessent on top, Theil on bottom, JD watches from cuck chair

throwawaydonaldinho

Ni hao fyne shyts. If you arent buying in to cash rich China trade what are you even doing? Both charts and valuations are sick right now. BABA and JD.

Salty-Gur6053

And that will do nothing, because JD Vance will be president, and if you think he'll be any better, he won't. And he's actually not dumb, he just cosplays an idiot to fit in with the group he is around. He's actually quite intelligent, he might actually be far more confident than Trump and accomplishing this horrible shit. Back to the matter is even if they impeached him, there is no way there will ever be 67 votes in the Senate to remove him. And every other idiot in his cabinet will still be in place too.

DontLook_Weirdo

Lol...yeah, cause we're the ones who ... 1. Put fake ear patches 2. Bought novelty JD Vance jizz 3. Wore diapers 4. Bought china made cologne, "USA made" cell phones, and temu gold shoes....believing they were American made or of good quality. ...etc....etc... How are those tariffs working out, tool? Let us know how, if at all, you've got to benefit from good ol Donny.

orsomeshitidk

JD Vance was a little tattle tale bitch in elementary school and we all know it

LiamPhlegmsworth

Million? Our government loses that in the sofa weekly. Only find it when JD blows its back out

Smooth_Ninja_1191

PDD holdings / JD.com / WeRide / YINN / B2Gold

Full_Pear449

Academics and trading are 2 differnet realities. I have a JD/MBA doesn't make me a top-flight legal practitioner or an Equity trader. 3yrs as a Junior Trader, then 12yrs as a Trader, and then 10yrs as Senior on the Desk.

Top-Positive6537

JD watching for a swing here had solid volume post earnings.

copperblood

And Trump destroyed that political prostitute JD Vance's political career too. Fuck them both.

IDKBear25

JD Vance didn't want this shit to happen. Trump just followed Netanyahu's orders and bam, another war in the Middle East.

fuck_zebster

Thank you JD Vance for high oil prices . 

OutOfBananaException

JD Vance didn't get the memo, and now he's sidelined for questioning it lol.

Deadweight047

I don't think he will kill JD for fuking a couch instead of his little sister

skymagic

Ukraine actually helping out the US bases against drones, did JD say thank you yet 🤣

asneakyzombie

Last time the mob broke into the capital, some with cuffs and tactical gear. Some where out chanting "hang Mike Pence" because he refused to go along with the coup attempt. Do you trust JD Vance to do the same? I hope everything goes smoothly. I pray the people who need to be are prepared to handle the theoretical case in which it does not.

aznology

Send JD in military fatigue with a thank you card. From US citizens. 

barkwoofgrrr

Go back in time - It's early last year, and 🥭 and JD vance just berated Zelinski and you think we've hit a new low as a country. We were so innocent back then. 🥭 hadn't even gone full retard

88xeeetard

Fake news/CCP AI/Obama's fault would be the defence.  I think South Park did a bit about it when he was fucking JD Vance.

Technical-Emu-32

Cry into JD Vance memes instead 😭

Get_dat_money

I would cry into a bottle of JD this weekend but I can't afford that now.

ProudPeak3570

say thank you commander in chief JD Vance has been suspiciously MIA recently

hermeskino715

If oil goes 200 a barrel, 🌮 going to pick up his shovel, head down to Texas and make JD dig for oil lol

SharrodG

😂🤣 and we have 3 more glorious years! Thennnn JD Vance or Marcus Rubius Next! It’s going to be a glorious decade! #AmericaFIRST 💪🏽💪🏽😜😜

Final-Weekend-4826

Let’s go JD!

Deep-Thought

> "I can't vote for Kamala, she's a genocidaire/communist/idiot and she's clearly too emotional for the office, she'll blunder us right into a huge war!" I find it weird that they're the ones you are first to blame. Like sure, their decision was idiotic but on the list of people who are are fault, they fall far behind the following Every diehard Trump supporter (i.e. Stephen Miller) Every Republican enabler who sold their sould for power (i.e. JD Vance) Every Billionaire who funded his campaign Every tech bro and finance bro who switched parties because of woke (i.e. Musk) Every high profile person who decided to not be political last time around (i.e. The Rock, LeBron James) Joe Biden for not dropping out before the primary The Harris campaign

SlartibartfastMcGee

BABA and JD on a rip tonight

elpresidentedeljunta

Shut up JD!

unfurledseas

JD is more "competent" but he also doesn't have the cult of personality around him. If/when Trump passes, I think there'll be a bit of a fragmentation of the Republicans at least in the near term until some other idiot rises up from the ashes.

Montyprice7206

You know JD goes home and punches the air every night knowing 🥭 and Marco blood brothers now

Wows_Nightly_News

JD Vance puts on Polymarket is free money.

BigShmokeBuffer

Chad Zelenskyy gonna storm Tehran all by himself to say thanks to JD couchophile Vance

ScatMonkeyPro

JD and Peter know each other from their venture capital days. JD is literally Peters horse in the White House, Thiel will make sure he is the next president.

YaLlegaHiperhumor

$JD ***-92% EPS*** ☠️⚰️☠️⚰️☠️⚰️☠️ RMB2.7B loss vs. RMB9.9B profit YoY *Never* buy Gynah!

dweeegs

Don’t worry brother, I have been in the past as well. The only time JD’s gone up in the last 4 years is when stimulus was announced and apparently that’s not happening. Same with Meituan. The only Chinese stock worth owning is Tencent. All the other good ones are local tech companies that don’t have ADR’s here. Hence why the Hang Seng is sucking dick but some other local exchanges in China have been popping off

ScatMonkeyPro

You sold PLTR knowing Thiel literally pushed JD Vance into the White House? It was pretty clear he was going to get something for that investment, and he clearly has.

therealneurovis

JD to 20 sounds about right. (I am a bag holder of that particular equity)

dweeegs

lol China's fkin lost. no idea why they get glazed on reddit. 5 year plan released that does jack shit to fix anything, shrinking earnings, shrinking consumption, everything in the shitter BABA --> $100 JD --> $20 BIDU --> $100 god bless american companies

Fkthisst93

Well. My avgo calls seems to be ded. Hopefully JD delivers

banditcleaner2

This, except for the JD comment

ResidentPack4103

Avgo 350+ after hours fades to 330 by open followed by 360+ friday JD pumps rest of week

TecHNizzle969

Good luck. JD has been my worst investment so far

throwawaydonaldinho

Someone gamble with me. Bought 200 JD MAR 13 28$ Calls @0.14. Earnings tomorrow if anyone wants to join. Chinese domestic e commerce. 40B market cap, they had 26B cash on books. Limited liabilities and they like buybacks.

throwawaydonaldinho

Bought 20 JD MAR 13 28$ Calls. Literally a gamble, earnings tomorrow if anyone wants to join. Chinese domestic e commerce. 40B market cap, they had 26B cash on books.

throwawaydonaldinho

Anyone wanna gamble with me? JD earnings tomorrow before the bell. Considering week out calls 5-10k.

ResidentPack4103

Buying JD and Baba here before ER

BarbellPadawan

I agree with you… JD Couch has no base and wouldn’t be able to yank the leash of every GOP lawmaker the way 🥭 inexplicably seems to be able to do. Yeah theoretically have a more rational (less meme) cabinet and hopefully more serious press conferences, etc. But I don’t know that policy would be meaningfully moved forward. But who knows. Hard to say what happens in a power vacuum when you suddenly lose a stable genius (/s)

Me-Regarded

Maybe. The market would immediately assess JD Vance.

Final-Weekend-4826

Put your paycheck in JD for Thursday earnings. Guaranteed win.

sanndman

if you miss out on the JD pump, dont buy the couch stocks because they getting fucked.

Final-Weekend-4826

Buy JD like there’s no tomorrow. Will spike on Thursday earnings.

Final-Weekend-4826

This will spike on Thursday! Loaded up on JD today at $25.04. $300k and counting.

Final-Weekend-4826

JD is the ultimate winner here. They are going to release new guidance and the stock will take off. Fair value is ~$40+ conservatively. Huge upside potential.

Final-Weekend-4826

Just bought a ton of JD prior to earnings. It’s going to blow up after they release new guidance!

Final-Weekend-4826

Out of all of these, I feel JD is by far the most undervalued stock and has the biggest single stock potential for short term and long term growth. Let’s go!

LovesEBITDA

Thank you, JD!

TheoryInttro

You mean JD Vance?

YaLlegaHiperhumor

I have $FCX (-9%), $STNE (-5%), $VALE (-4%) and $JD (-3%). I'm already -$10,500 in the year with $70,000 invested I should sell to stop the bleeding now instead of letting it go all the way down to -$15,000 by EOW, right?

Sidney_Godsby

“I volunteer as tribute” JD Couchfucker Vance, probably

DefiantDelta

they’re in the Signal chat (without JD) gossiping about doing a Limited-Scope Operation in bulls sphincter

imrickjamesbioch

How does this help me? We still have 3 more years of this shit and that assumes he doesn’t rerun a 3rd time or just tries to cancel elections altogether. All I know is all the glazing JD has done, there is zero chance he winning the fake Christian nomination, much less a shot at winning the presidency. His career is essentially over post Pedo-47!

IHadTacosYesterday

How low is JD.com going? $24?

masterofinvestment19

JD.com 🚀

Ridged_ChiPSS

Imagine listening to Donald Trump, JD Vance, and Pete Hegeseth and thinking yeah its a good thing these people just started a war with a country of 90 million people who mostly hate us

Warm-Profit-775

Why is JD Vance on my couch screaming calls passionately

rwc5078

What are we going to do today 🥭 The same thing we try to do everyday JD Take over the world

corndog_messiah

It’s different now cause those were dumb presidents - JD Vance

Temporary-Alarm-744

Like JD Vance?

Few-Adhesiveness6959

Wonder if anyone said thank you for the attacks ? Thanks JD Vance

ManBearPig_1983

Not JD. He is forever after eating the popes soul

ManBearPig_1983

https://preview.redd.it/2kcq64daojmg1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c31cf992c7996ae732a4c587cbf0a98b38140eb3 It’s not over until JD is installed as the new supreme leader. Allah Hu Snack Bar!

failedxperiment

Like JD is going to be any better, we are fucked.