AKA

ElFlexican

# $SATS — EchoStar aka **“SpaceX but for people who don’t get invited to private equity parties.”** # 🤡 THE SETUP: SATS GOT PAID IN ELON STOCK. LET THAT SINK IN. EchoStar sold their dusty microwave-era spectrum to SpaceX and Elon didn’t even pay them cash. He literally said: > And SATS said: > So now SATS is just casually sitting on **$11.1B** worth of **SpaceX equity**, which is like finding a Bitcoin wallet in your garage from 2011. # 🧨 MY THESIS (AKA the reason my family stopped talking to me): 1️⃣ SATS is the **ONLY public ticker with a massive SpaceX equity bag** 2️⃣ Retail hasn't noticed yet because they can’t read past 3 sentences 3️⃣ WSB hasn’t pumped it yet because the logo isn’t a dog or a banana 4️⃣ When SpaceX IPO news drops, SATS is going to **orbital velocity** 5️⃣ I YOLO’d every liquid dollar I have because I hate myself # 🐒 THE PLAY: YOLO CALLS + SHARES + PRAYERS I bought calls so deep in the money they’re practically in the Earth’s mantle. Expiration dates chosen using the ancient method known as: > If SATS runs? I retire. If SATS falls? I start a GoFundMe titled “Elon Rugpulled Me.” # 😭 RISKS (YOU WON’T READ THESE): * SpaceX delays IPO until 2049 * Elon tweets something stupid during earnings * SATS randomly decides to be a normal company instead of a SpaceX proxy * I misread the filings because I got my MBA from YouTube # 🚀 CONCLUSION: I have found the **meme stonk of 2026**, the **backdoor SpaceX ticket**, the **degenerate golden ticket** to either financial freedom or financial ruin. I’m all in on $SATS because: # “Why buy SpaceX when you can buy the company that SpaceX paid in stonks???” SEE YOU ON THE MOON OR AT THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE.

retarded-salami

but we cut rates yesterday AKA SELL THE NEWS? we need 690 (nice)

Pluth

SPX and VIX options trade overnight, but you need special permission (AKA not poor) from your brokerage. That is if your brokerage even does them in the first place.

Samjabr

Powell said his legacy would be leaving his replacement a strong economy. AKA - Money printer go brrr

Samjabr

Powell "My legacy is to hand off a really good economy" AKA -Money printer go Brrr

Salty-Bid1597

People seem to have forgotten that the point of running a business IS TO MAKE A PROFIT. With capital costs of $150k per car 10,000 cars are going to cost $1.5bn. Lets generously assume Google puts up the cash so they don't need to borrow and pay interest. $1bn pa revenue from these cars at a \*very\* generous net margin of 20% means $200m profit per year, so it will take 7.5 years to pay off each car. But hire companies, for example, only keep their cars for 40-50k miles, which at Lyft style mileages will be about 1 year. Even if we assume Waymo has super powers and can keep their cars on road for 150k miles for zero extra cost that is still only 3 years, so it will take twice the car's lifetime to pay it off. They need to either cut the cost of the cars to $50k each or raise the fares to an average of $60 per ride \*just to break even\*. (And that's with a unrealistic margin assumption). It's yet another tech co doomed to be forever profitless until Google pulls the plug. AKA a marketing cost.

Interesting_Leg8859

Just a reminder that Tom Lee (AKA FULL METAL ALCHEMIST) is not far from his "Alchemy of 5%" target ...... BITMOOOOOOONER "Tom Lee's Alchemy of 5%" refers to the ambitious goal of [**BitMine Immersion (BMNR)**](https://www.google.com/search?q=BitMine+Immersion+%28BMNR%29&oq=TOM+LEE+ALCHEMY+OF+5&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABjvBTIKCAIQABiABBiiBDIKCAMQABiABBiiBDIKCAQQABiABBiiBDIKCAUQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ0NjNqMGo5qAIGsAIB8QW6FX0g1JXc2Q&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&mstk=AUtExfDWPz9CmetNoO_IfQpI95Tp_cssphh91UyNVssJDERo2_XfpkToXJigoxg4FL-P8jJNyIA74zQFQ_0PQGwpvnOFePP0oEYoDRUhjaFSzoAVxgWTFuETGbYpPEljdbIrO9m4dDPYLeHyO4CqZ6INLVAZfS0a8Q7PQeHNwz3hLlXpA-M&csui=3&ved=2ahUKEwjK2u6KkbGRAxXFvokEHQUhJGgQgK4QegQIARAD), a company led by strategist [Tom Lee](https://www.google.com/search?q=Tom+Lee&oq=TOM+LEE+ALCHEMY+OF+5&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABjvBTIKCAIQABiABBiiBDIKCAMQABiABBiiBDIKCAQQABiABBiiBDIKCAUQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ0NjNqMGo5qAIGsAIB8QW6FX0g1JXc2Q&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&mstk=AUtExfDWPz9CmetNoO_IfQpI95Tp_cssphh91UyNVssJDERo2_XfpkToXJigoxg4FL-P8jJNyIA74zQFQ_0PQGwpvnOFePP0oEYoDRUhjaFSzoAVxgWTFuETGbYpPEljdbIrO9m4dDPYLeHyO4CqZ6INLVAZfS0a8Q7PQeHNwz3hLlXpA-M&csui=3&ved=2ahUKEwjK2u6KkbGRAxXFvokEHQUhJGgQgK4QegQIARAE), to acquire 5% of the total Ethereum (ETH) supply, creating a massive corporate treasury to drive Ethereum's integration into mainstream finance and generate staking rewards

baconography

AKA "Wall Street's delight"

Vast-Protection5583

2500 to USD$1. I purchased 1/2 hectare w/ agri building AKA barn for 50 million Lira. Wire transfered $33,000. From USA to purchase.

SirGlass

>JPM has in-house derivatives trading. That means the bank is on the hook for any losses racked up by its trading subsidiaries - the way Lehman Bros and Bear Sterns were in 2008 This is wrong, also with Lehman and Bear no brokerage customers had missing funds or lost any money besides legitimate investment losses AKA the investments they owned lost money. MF Global was the only one that SIPC needed to step in, and what MF Global did was fraud and illegal .

Electronic-Winter277

You can expect these theta rats to keep things in the same range through end of week. AKA your weeklies fuck

UnivalveX

I need a miracle (AKA spy dropping more than -0.2%)

SeriousGarbage3990

Shkreli AKA Satoshi Nakamoto

OGChodBone

"Money is nothing" AKA "Pay for my welfare! Also lets take money from other people"

1stmingemperor

Problem is nobody knows what “war” is in the constitutional sense, as in what military action is beyond the President’s authority as Commander-in-Chief and over foreign policy that only Congress can authorize. We’ve never settled this question in the courts, and there’s tremendous tension between Congress and the President on a formal level (every president has maintained that at least parts of the War Powers Resolution are unconstitutional). Funny enough, the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel (AKA the Executive Branch’s internal supreme court/legal consigliere) once reasoned that the U.S. invasion/intervention in Grenada was definitely not a “war” in the constitutional sense because the U.S. was planning on going in with such overwhelming force that any conflict would be over in a jiffy. So according to that view, which I bet OLC will cite if asked to opine on the legality of invading Venezuela, it’s not a war as long as the President thinks we can so thoroughly invade a country that there’s no resistance.

eyerollingsex

So a random lady devoted her life to the Roman Catholic Church Her bishop connected her to the owner of the New Orlean Saints She ends up marrying him within 4 months He went schizo before he died and removed his kids from the will and passed them over to the wife Then she says when she dies the team will be sold and all proceeds will be given to causes she believes in AKA the Roman Catholic Church Damn women are weapons

Gr4n_Autismo

I seriously hate the proliferation of forward P/E as a measure to value a company. Those that sling the term around use it as some concrete value rather than the possible future growth valuation methodology (AKA not real yet) that it is.

Voxico

It also makes errors that sound like they aren't errors. By the nature of the machine, it's trying to make the thing that sounds the most right, and usually the thing that sounds the most right is that. AKA hallucinations.

EnigmaSpore

the Fed say they want to increase their balance sheet. AKA, print money. call it whatever you want, but they want to increase their balance sheet by no longer letting things roll off without reinvesting the proceeds. they're going to be printing up t bills.

Neat_Database6685

Yep yep, learned this the hard way…straddle AKA insurance

x992607

They'll be able to achieve that under the "CEJ" paradigm - circular economy jerking AKA the GREAT LOOP.

UnivalveX

GOOG (AKA SPY) may never see a red day again

CrabKates

This statement suggest that all public jobs are redundant. That’s simply not true. I work on the public side in heavy civil construction AKA your roads and bridges. I can confidently say that I have saved the state in the millions of dollars by controlling the work and materials of the private contractors looking to squeeze out every penny from a job by cutting costs. I have not been paid millions in my career. This is the one thing I have a deep understanding of.

Whipitreelgud

AKA "In Trump I Trust" /s

trentcoolyak

Yeah but even when transaction costs are low due to high liquidity they are NOT negligible. You’re hand waving away huge differences. Even in the world where you’re buying an option for 3.00 and the bid ask is 3.00-3.01. Which is the absolute best case scenario for liquidity, you still lose .3% PER DAY. Even in that best case scenario, even if you only reinvest weekly: .997^52 = 0.855. AKA in one year of weekly reinvesting you’d lose 15% of your principal to bid ask spread in the absolute best case scenario of razor thin bid ask spread. I know it seems small and irrelevant but it’s absolutely not and people seem to ignore it in subs like this. The metric that’s relevant is how often you are reinvesting your entire principal. So if you’re making small tweaks daily that’s probably fine, but the frequency that your buy and sell orders equal your portfolio value is what defines this loss equation. And you can claim hedge funds can’t use price data to extract more value from you, but they absolutely do use tactics like moving the bid/ask immediately if a retail investor puts a large-ish order in bc they know you’re not price sensitive. Which isn’t using your data and targeting you specifically, but is certainly profiling your buying/selling as retail and changing the price to get a few % more out of you. Also re: law of small #’s, you’re absolutely right on that. It’s actually something I explicitly thought about when placing my googl bet.

powerboner

Websites for businesses. AKA I’ll be out of a job in less than a year 🤪

iMakeGOODinvestmemts

Anyone remember perplexity?? Yea...it's seen a drop in 80% of its users in the last 2 months lol. AKA - dead lol. The cro tried to buy chrome for $30B. Get fucked. Your next SCAM ALTMAN and Openai

brute-forced

We know that the consumer is starting to not matter with this circle jerk of AI funding. The consumer, AKA “the poors”, couldn’t matter less at this point. What matters are billionaire’s meetings held on mega yachts and that is it

hiphopanonomos

He's going to ask gov to create the bitcoin fund AKA tax payer funded bailout of BTC where we take the losses and they keep the gains

No_Wrongdoer_34

AKA live with your parents

thefpspower

Microsoft's strategy is not bad, they're not racing for the best model, they're more interested in selling shovels AKA selling you Azure servers to run the models. I recommend watching this interview with Satya: [https://youtu.be/8-boBsWcr5A?si=JwYNfzoe5mDxSxzE](https://youtu.be/8-boBsWcr5A?si=JwYNfzoe5mDxSxzE) But yes I think part of their strategy is also waiting for OpenAI's demise to have them begging to get bought out.

salespunk44

Except us senior citizens have seen this before. Similar things happened in the memory market back in the day. Same with Cisco/EMC/SunMicro/etc. All those companies had real earnings as well then the game of musical chairs AKA circular investing stopped and it turned out there was only about half a chair. Nvidia earning will crater at some point and the company will go back to its pre AI valuation.

NoChallenge9224

If theres a giant jump in a short time it halts to 'protect' traders, AKA let momentum die for market makers. Lots of the time it takes the wind out of the sails and price barcodes down usually after.

jabtrain

AKA 9 out 10 MSFT earnings seemingly ever.

stuff_happens_again

AKA the Amazon position!

Unhappy_Hedgehog_808

AKA they got their hands on enough of them alreadyto be confidentin their ability to copy them.

Triseult

AKA the greater fool theory. Everybody hopes they're not the last ones left holding the bag. "I don't need to time the bear market. I just need to time YOU."

theravingsofalunatic

AKA Welcome to the party 🎉

jasperCrow

WSB Bullish Lentil Gains Bowl (AKA: “Diamond Hands Dal”) Theme: Cheap like an out-of-the-money weekly option, spicy like your unrealized losses, and guaranteed to give you more sustained energy than a FOMC pump. Ingredients 1 cup red or yellow lentils (because you don’t want to hold anything longer than 20 minutes) 1 tbsp oil or butter 1 small onion, diced 3 cloves garlic, smashed like a short seller 1 tsp grated ginger 1–2 tsp curry powder ½ tsp cumin ½ tsp turmeric (for those golden tendies vibes) 1 can diced tomatoes (or 2 fresh) 3 cups water or broth ½ tsp salt Fresh cilantro or lime for serving Optional: red pepper flakes if you want extra IV spike

Whole_Kale_4349

In my view, Jamie Dimon doesn’t even know what Bitcoin is, yet he goes on national television talking about how bad it is while being unable to answer a single question about what it actually is. If Jamie Dimon doesn’t even know what it is, do you really think the average critic is putting in more effort than he is? Also you say that as if the financial system we currently have AKA wall st isn't dominated by fraudsters and cons artists lol. They literally crashed the global economy in 2008 and got fat bonuses and bailed out by the tax payers and not a single one went to jail. The vast majority of black market transactions are done in US DOLLARS not Bitcoin.

kingofmidnightsnacks

Ok, so are we gonna continue to allow Jesse fuckin’ Bloom, AKA Michael Burry dictate the market as a one man shorting band, or does AI get a lift back to the moon?

Bane68

The ole snp500 AKA Snipe500. Great index.

ClarkFable

AKA the Wendy’s grease trap

Char-was-right

AKA bag holders. You’re exit liquidity for hedge funds and tech companies. Well done my fellow regards

Foreign-Ad4131

Living in reality = Dem? I'm a true (AKA fiscal that doesn't care about social topics) conservative that's without a home since fringe neocon nonsense runs the show these days. If you truly fear the exchange of ideas that differ from your current supposition, you should stay a million miles from politics - best policies ALWAYS come from somewhere in the middle, not either fringe. Because even when a fringe idea is OK, the minute the political climate changes, the levers slam it completely the opposite direction which causes tons of pain for many families (and often the economy for many topics). Find an answer that's towards the middle and adjust it a bit as time goes on if it's not refined into something perfect yet - that's how America truly becomes Great Again.

Han_Yolo_swag

He's taking a page out of the ps2 marketing book. Make it look so powerful it's scary, AKA exciting and edgy.

Tall_Candidate_8088

Because breaking things and selling the solution is very profitable. First up is the financial system, burn it to the ground and replace it with crypto currency. Break the internet, only solution left is fault tolerant networks. AKA crypto currency. Break everything and sell our AI solutions instead. What did you think was actually going on, Trump is just a fall guy but behind the scenes they are making a mass and selling the solution back to ye.

jumbocards

Last time I checked, A100s are still going for market value and people can’t get enough of it. He maybe be right long term but absolutely not today. If anything companies are overstating their depreciation on GPUs currently. AKA… there is NOT ENOUGH GPU TO MEED DEMAND still…

jcodes57

Has the company explicitly said they are looking for a buyout though?? And even if they did if it’s dependent on say phase 3 passing or beyond that could be years later while racking up debt the entire time AKA dilution at best

Deshen87

This years winners and momentum names AKA Wsb stocks getting completely SMOKED. If you only looked at these stocks you would think indices down more than 20 %, but they are actually at an ATH 🫣😂

UnivalveX

AKA -0.08% day

Sober_Alcoholic_

Nah we require intimate mating rituals consisting of displays of competence, beauty and security. AKA have money and take her out to eat in your nice whip. Then you get butthole sniffing rights.

notmysamhandwich

ItS a CoNviCtIoN PlAy... AKA i also hold the stock

Thebaxxxx

Micheal should have stuck with the other stuff he was known for. Idk why hed jump into the stock market with these wild ideas. Stocks havent traded based on financials in a while and they likely never will lol. Everything changed after covid and the so called PPP loans AKA 3 trillion in gifts to the top for taking a 1 week vacation. The re-uptake through price gouging means the top 0.01% arent just enviously rich, they own everything. Theres never been anyone quite as powerful in the history of humankind. Less than 5000 people hold 10000000000000x more wealth than the queen of england at the height of the british empire.

crashumbc

AKA, not actually happening...

TeddyTango

“The $2,000 dividend could come in lots of forms” AKA not cash payouts

Sad-Airman

So it turns out the same subsidies that everyone laughed at TSLA for losing are what has been making UNH stay afloat. I'm sure they lobbied hard to keep "hard working Americans from paying more" AKA give us our subsidy or we will pass on the cost lmao

Hey_Chach

I agree that real returns are the important point to keep in mind here, but if it’s growth minus inflation then you have to keep in mind that exchange rate and currency appreciation/deflation have a direct relationship on inflation through foreign trade and vice versa. People are getting all confused in this thread because this particular topic is actually NOT trivial at all; both sides of the argument are correct to some degree, and that degree depends on what is called ERPT: Exchange Rate Pass Through—AKA the degree to which fluctuations in exchange rate affect the prices of goods from both imports and exports and therefore how much exchange rates affect domestic inflation. This is further complicated by 2 things: 1) in the short term, prices are less elastic (although this depends on the specific industry/goods in question, too), but they are far more elastic in the long term. 2) in the context of the USA specifically, ERPT is affected (kept in check) by the USD’s position the worlds reserve currency. To put it simply: high ERPT means prices are very responsive to exchange rate fluctuations/currency appreciation/depreciation meaning higher inflation when things are turbulent. Lower ERPT means this effect on inflation is still there but is lessened. In the USA, our ERPT is generally lower and is dampened even more by our position as the reserve currency. What does all this mean in the context of the S&P’s gains versus the depreciation of the dollar? It’s not so simple as “S&P up 20% - dollar down 10% = 10% gains overall”. It means that in the near term, investing in the S&P is making good money, but the wider US domestic economy will soon experience higher inflation (compared to a theoretically more stable USD; also, note that the stock market is a separate thing from the wider US economy). So in the long term, domestic consumer purchasing power decreases as companies pass off the losses to the consumer. IMHO, this means everything is good until the lights go out and the music stops, which brings us full circle to the most impossible question to answer in investing: How do you predict that? How do you time the market? We can’t really do so with certainty, but I would be taking precautions for the next fall to be much harder than if any of these things weren’t happening.

Necromancer2k8

This is kinda long but it's my experience with coreweave over the last few months. My last shares of crwv experience was at $113 before last earnings. Thought I caught the dip from 140+. It dropped like $20 more over the next few days after earnings. Sat on the shares for about 6 weeks through the run down to 85, snagged more shares around the 95 mark on the way up and dumped at $118 on its recent run up just to get out of the position. Learned my lesson on this company and just swing trade the cheap crwg ETF for .20 -.50 intraday moves. I did some digging after that share purchase and it's basically a debt fueled company that pays, I believe, 20 million + per month in interest on all it's loans and it's expansion is based on buying other companies (AKA being an AI incubator seems like complete BS as cover for acquiring IP as investments, meaning more fucking loans and more interest). The CEO has been selling roughly 525k shares per week since lockup ended a few months ago. Another issue I just recently saw was the price of compute per hour is dropping rapidly. A company was quoted around $10 per hour for Blackwells a few months back. In the last week he was quoted $4.50 per hour for the same Blackwells. Not so good on the revenue front with such a big drop in such a short time frame. I expect them to miss on EPS, probably meet or barely beat on revenue and guide up because of the openai money circle jerk machine, even with the core scientific deal going kaput. Figure at least a few weeks to recover if the market doesn't tank. If Nvidia exceeds it's numbers during earnings it should catch a good boost up at that time.

anormalname63

Lol and just two weeks ago some chimp was arguing with me here that openAi isn't a failing company and he compared it to early Amazon. Now we see they asked for a bailout, got denied, then backtrack and said it wasn't a bailout but asking for government incentives to fulfill US computer chips production agenda. AKA they're burning money and wanted the government to fund them diversifying into chip production to offset their cost.

monos_muertos

AKA the McDonald's related cardiac phenomenon.

captain_ahabb

>There's not going to be a sustained downturn till the dip buyers suddenly cut off the funds for inflows cause they need to cover expenses or lost their income. AKA until layoffs really pick up due to the slowdown happening in all the non-AI sectors.

Reddit_guard

But if you time it well (AKA have inside knowledge), those dips be popping

Csut94

AKA, we make enough money still on GTA online whales

BlackFlames01

Try breaking your legs, AKA height surgery 🦵: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/aug/17/being-short-is-a-curse-the-men-paying-thousands-to-get-their-legs-broken-and-lengthened

ApprehensiveMush

The same men complaining about OP's wife taking the money she's legally entitled too are the same group of men who complain about why traditional women don't exist anymore. AKA broke boys who want their fantasy "trad" wife who stays at home and cooks and cleans but can't pay for one.

InAnOffhandWay

A sycophant is someone who gives excessive and insincere flattery to a person in power to gain favor. AKA: Ass Kisser, Brown Noser, Bootlicker.

Cut_Copies

Honestly, fuck Jensen with this "US will lose to China on AI" bullshit. OpenAI and Nvidia are reportedly trying to get federal government guarantees to fund their data center debt -- AKA, socialize the losses and privatize the profits. Greedy motherfuckers.

kpeng2

AKA, a bubble...

Trixles

"challenging environment" lol AKA, "we are charging a hilariously high amount of money for our shit food, and it's hard to keep people buying it"

Money_Spread7379

>At the moment, I still hold roughly +15 % of my entire portfolio in a pure cash state; AKA further ammunition waiting for the right triggers, for my equations to beep the time has arrived, and its literally in week(s) if not day(s). Nothing wrong with having cash or cash reserves to buy a potential dip. To me, it is one of the best ways to increase total returns. My advice is to actually have it invested in a MMF so you are at least getting some interest on it and can redeploy when needed. >My prime directive since day-1, in 2020, is capital preservation. Always has been, always will be. My goal isn’t to win every trade, even though thats what we all want to achieve, but more importantly so, is to ensure that no matter what storm hits, the portfolio survives to fight another day. Unless you are already a multi-millionaire why would you be focused on capital preservation? From your post you are young, you should focus on overall returns with cheap cost index funds. If you want to be more aggressive tilt sector or QQQ, but preservation focus will hurt you long term when you are ready to retire.

CwispyNoodles

Yeah, keep my head down, and be quiet :( AKA: stick with VOO and USFR

MilkMySpermCannon

By being highly motivated and hard working. AKA dad owns a business.

Losalou52

“Already created dangerous echo chambers” AKA Reddit

Stocks_N_Bondage

AKA the most garbage broker evvarrr

robotpanda96

People being uncertain about Reddit earnings report yesterday , it was released after-hours. AKA getting the weak hands out before the pop

Canadian_Border_Czar

Because your options for delivery back then were pizza, Chinese and sometimes KFC.  If you were getting delivery (AKA didnt feel like cooking), you had 3 choices, and since it became a weekly to monthly tradition for millions of households, the driver had work. Now there's millions of drivers.

BuyHighCryLat3r

AI data enters AKA NVDA!

CallsOrPutsYES

#Everyone knows da BEARS will fumble it in the 4th qtr AKA when JPOW speaks

Sober_Alcoholic_

OpenAI will not IPO until (if) they’re profitable. They are very far from that right now, AKA hemorrhaging money.

MutaliskGluon

NVDA isnt depreciating GPUs on their books, the hyperscalers and mag 7 are. NVDA is doing early revenue recognition, M2Ming of deals that should not hit the books, and abusing AP and AR to bring forward revenue. AKA all the stuff Enron was doing in 99 that was found out about AFTERWARDS because you can only prove it once the demand slows and you can no longer bring forward revenue. In the meantime you need to finance vendors, make big partnerships, and keep bringing forward revenue, which Jensen literally did all day today haha

BearishBull69_

Goes gold get hammered tmrw AKA do I sell now before close?

YuckyBurps

> If you put a small amount in a few companies—never more than you’d be willing to lose in any one of them—and then wait two decades, you could hit one or two. AKA index investing

univrsll

You're confusing yourself. A full business day, or T1 ubiquitously means funds are available the next day. The context of my comment is also very clearly taking gripe with the claim profits need to be settled to day trade again, when in fact it's the **entirety** of the funds used for the respective day trade that needs to be settled. Maybe using "full," confused you, but at that point you're being an unnecessary pedant and everyone else knows what I'm talking about. I'm simply meaning market day has closed, and the new day has started. So to be extremely clear, you have to wait for any funds used in a day trade to settle the following business day (AKA a business day, or T1) in order to day trade in a cash account.

Holiday-Hippo-6748

> Been doing this with tsla bears for years now AKA gamblers. Again, I don’t put money on stocks completely detached from reality. I’m glad you made some money but I hope you pull out before it’s too late lol

Flrg808

Ideally I would not get my shares assigned at all for tax reasons. If spy moves up 5% and my shares are called away (AKA sold to the IRS) suddenly Im paying taxes on $10k even if I use that $10k to buy right back in.

Expert_Context5398

So many people here have no clue how the stock market works, how stock options work, etc., Truthfully told, it's a characteristic of jealousy more-so than anything. 1) He isn't getting paid $1 trillion. Stock options =/= cash. Try liquidating 1/8th of a company and then tell me you're getting full market value. 2) He only gets paid if he meets performance objectives or thresholds. Tesla would have to x8 for him to get the full $1 trillion. Tons of you don't even believe Tesla will survive that long. So he effectively gets nothing if he doesn't meet these objectives. What's your issue with that? 3) If you're not a shareholder, why does this bother you? Any shareholder would love to have their shares go up 800% and wouldn't mind their CEO getting paid that. This stems from jealousy. 4) Again, if you don't own Tesla shares and don't believe in Tesla, then he effectively gets nothing. $0. His shares are worth nothing because as many of you said, "Tesla is just a fake company that Elon pumps." So this just proves that ya'll are upset that he's getting paid to do something most think can't be done... AKA, you're proving he deserves it. 5) This is the same shit that happened many years ago in his original performance package. Many thought Tesla was going to go bankrupt and it was true, they were. They managed to not go bankrupt, sell hundreds of thousands of EV's, become profitable, and then Elon got paid. So he does something that had a very low chance of success and you guys are upset he got rewarded for it. Get your head out of your asses, guys. This isn't your money. This is Tesla, as a company, holding the shares. We're all in this to make money. Stop being jealous and find something else to make money on if this upsets you.

Expert_Context5398

"I hate Elon" vibes. You either have no understanding of how the stock market works or your hate for the guy overrides logical thinking. There is no $1 trillion cash or check. It's stock options that every company holds reserved for stock option grants to employees and executives. Think of it as a piggybank but in terms of shares. He only receives a % of that piggybank if he meets the objective. If he doesn't, he doesn't get it. So many of you already don't believe in Tesla... it'd have to reach $8.5 trillion for Elon to even receive this. So about 8x return. Some of you think Tesla is going bankrupt soon, etc., So that means you don't EXPECT Tesla to be worth $8.5 trillion, AKA, UNLIKELY. So now you're upset that the CEO wants to get paid for meeting expectations that others don't think will be met? Like c'mon. Why are you guys even here if your entire shtick is you don't like him.

00gingervitis

AKA "I am punishing American citizens by another 10% on top of what they already pay for Canadian products, because a Canadian company did something I personally didn't like"

slow70

AKA is vaporware and greed, smoke and mirrors, like must go up and you gotta pay those medical bills as you get older - all it costs is your children’s future

fibonacci011235

AKA cock and ball formation but I didn't want to be crass

ease-on-down

AKA 'We need time to accumulate shares.'

ModernDayWitcher

Same it was only a matter of time. AKA bag holding for 3 weeks and praying each dip I bought

MutaliskGluon

I think the best bubble news is the SMCI update. Pretty much boils down to "yeah this quarter is gonna be bad and we are gonna miss by a fuckload... BUT we totally have a lot of future orders that will make everything look better a few years out" AKA trying to pull an ORCL

Ok-Amphibian3164

Robinhood killed the big GME squeeze. AKA: Government pressure. I cannot find the 13d/f for WAM on GME.

jensenskawk

AKA women

salespunk44

AKA fluffer?

kodaksdad2020

Means people sold short and re bought. AKA traded shares. Regards

InternetIsntMyFrend4

BYND is now a meme stock for sure. It's hard to tell whether if it will go the GME or BYND way, but I'd bet it will turn out to be more like a bankrupt BBYD, then GME craze. If BYND had a champion like Roaring Kitty (AKA Deep Fucking Value, AKA Keith Gill), then it could possibly be a different story. Disclaimer: I made money on GME, but lost all the gains in the following year in BBYD.

invol713

“Volatility”. AKA, we can’t profit off of this, so neither will you.