JPM

M13alint

Who in there gay mind is try to save JPM

Burtonwurton

Oh lord...JPM cuts COST price target from $1,110 to $1100. $10 fucking dollars and this shit drops almost 5%. I have no stake but that is retarded.

M13alint

✨JPM will dump✨

M13alint

If JPM gets back to $340 that means I’m extremely gay

M13alint

The JPM crash is going to be beautiful

Nuclear_N

I Split between the two 500 SPY and nasdaq QQQ. I have AAPL, MSFT, and JPM which is about 8% of total.

Average_TechSpec

Well... Depression because JPM and GOOGL got hammered today

M13alint

Whoever is trying to keep JPM from crashing is gayer than a gay person

throwaway9gk0k4k569

Just a reminder that JPM's Jamie Dimon has a pet cockroach named Frank and he has to pay Frank's legal fees! Everyone point and laugh and remember that EVERY TIME Dimon brings up "cockroaches" he's talking about Frank.

Sick0h

JPM next week: We’ve increased YOY revenue by approximately 700% and next year is expected to have 4.3 quadrillion in profit. -5.1%

Sean_VasDeferens

Oh look, JPM is giving out "FREE" advice!

blue_horse_shoe

I just looked at these come through.  JPM, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Deutsche were underwriters to the IPO. I wouldn't expect them to give a low price target - not sure if this rating is really fair. Raymond James at $800 no idea how they come up with that - can't be a 12month outlook?

-Redditeer-

To be fair I was going to chipotle once a week before I changed jobs, and some guy brings chipotle almost every day at the new place. Maybe JPM is on to something

ajarbyurns1

I just realized JPM is at ATH now

udp_pinger

there is a chip in the name, JPM should have focused on chips and Canons

bulrfuc

No goldman, JPM and others? Those 3 look like pump and dumpers LMAO

Traditional-Poet5461

Obviously JPM had puts

Spac55

Soon big banks and BigTech give strong earnings Looking great Q2 earnings by many big banks $C $JPM $WFC $BAC $GS $MS space all in $XLF. All big tech in $QQQ $SPX $NDX will give strong earnings, followed by big buybacks. Whole semiconductor sector $SMH $AMAT $ASML & many got a big boost from earnings spike

M13alint

JPM puts DD: Please God I barely ask anything of you

AcademicStandard3701

Soon it’s gonna be time for JPM puts it’s too high.

doucasandkapetanakis

Yep, VTV used to be JPM and BRK as top holdings, but now MU took over at 4%. Similarly, VYM is now 8% Broadcom (AVGO)… in fact, Broadcom and Oracle make up 10% of VYM which seems wild. SCHD holdings seem to have completely avoided the AI/tech boom, which shows given its recent performance.

GPUssydestroyer

JPM is right, but they don’t mean buy weeklies like you want to they mean buy long term shit not on margin

greytoc

I think you are confusing what a wire is. There is a big difference between FedACH and FedWire to move money. These are 2 different products of the Federal Reserve. Which are you actually asking about? FedWire is a same day settlement process service. FedACH is not. Both Fidelity and Schwab are brokers - that means that transfers have to occur with the use of a bank on these transfer networks. Fidelity uses UMB Bank for FedACH and JPM for FedWire. Schwab owns a bank so they use Schwab Bank for ACH. But I think they may use a different bank for fed wire settlement.

CD274

Yeah definitely, I've been eyeing it for way too long without pulling the trigger. But actual Schwab has been lagging and finally starting to move so that may be better 🤔 Right I don't want to touch hood or bull.😂. And Schwab is another beast really, that's like buying JPM stock Industrials are also up but I have yet to take a new look at the sector to see if it's anything outside of datacenter power grid etc or not

riversandtrees12

For datacenters I like ERII they do desalination and c02 reefer. No one discussed their use case with datacenters. Medical is mRNA, Finance JPM, spgi These are random tickers with no effort post good luck.

pulsarstarter

JPM not overpriced right now?

Sick0h

It seems we have no choice. Get JPM on the phone. Tell them it’s time to bring out the big cannons.

Icy-Tea-2954

Good idea - but one thing about JPM self-directed brokerage is it’s not good for spreads.

Yogurt_Up_My_Nose

I've been trading a while so I've sold a bunch. but currently. CRWD i'm at 197% , GOOG 283%, and JPM 251% , and JPM I sold about 50 shares of last year. and GOOG I think I sold 25 shares of last year.

iShitBloodandCumShit

I performed a technical analysis on Martin Shkreli, Warren Buffett, Dan Ives, a piece of dog shit, and JPM. All of them were dogshit compared to me.

No-Understanding9064

The whole financial sector took a bit of a dive a few months ago. JPM, BOA, and AXP were also great buys.

QuickSafety8100

well, even with their models, traditional analysts and Goldman, JPM etc really have no idea where the stock is going either. Its Kabuki theater.

Ok_GAINZ

There is going to be a bunch mechanical buying pressure tomorrow from JPM’s collar roll

whyshw

I think it’s gonna keep pumping. A couple of weeks ago JPM raised the price target from sub 200 to 475

HoneyBadger552

JPM knocking around some cannons and analysis. long lasting stories at JPMorgan this year

FuckleUp

JPM collar is Tuesday. Iron your shirts. The only trade you need 4x a year

BagholderForLyfe

This is poor people look. I was shocked she was JPM exec with that kind of body.

Thin-Stranger-9765

Well you’re just wrong. I personally know plenty of EDs at global banks like JPM that are far from that.

slightly_average

Yes because “i twade stonks on my compuwtah diamond hands 6767” isn’t a qualification, JPM manages $5 trillion in assets and pays well, they can afford someone not regarded

texasinv

I interact with people at dozens of big and small banks, brokerages, and fintechs due to my work, there are tons of idiots at least in back office/supporting roles. I assure you JPM is not exclusively staffed by geniuses. Big banks silo the crap out of people and they barely learn anything outside their little niche.

PlantSkyRun

She's not a JPM exec.

arfcom

Yeah that’s a fake job even at JPM. Just a “yeah we have that department” kind of thing where they just set meetings and waste everyone’s time. No way she made the kind of money that the cannon dealer on the left was making. 

WestEstablishment283

I think the Grimace is actually more sexually attractive than our JPM exec.

owenmills04

She had a DEI job for some rinky dink company, which JPM acquired. Calling her a ‘JPM exec’ is a stretch….

HalKitzmiller

I don't think JPM cares about the stealing itself. Hypocrisy and all

muntaxitome

According to some news sources\* she was Executive Director of Community and Industry Engagement for Card and Connected Commerce. So a director of community engagement doing her job, going viral, getting those eyeballs for JPM and then getting fired for it. \* nypost, which not everyone on reddit loves, but I don't see NYtimes digging through her trash to see what her role is so that's what we have

NuclearPopTarts

JPM was paying Jabba the Hut $300 K a year

BaldMa

People are saying executive from JPM … everyone is executives and vice presidents means nothing she might be a cleaning lady that signs after her shift and therefore corporate needs her to be “executive vice president “

Saltlife_Junkie

True but I put in 314 applications to JPM. I think I got a shot. I’m a production manager with a dream.

Practical-Pea5963

expectation vs reality... no more JPM, back to GS

Actual_Difference617

Where are the JPM analysts who said they will be buying AVGO aggressively when it was at $380. Why don’t you buy man.

imustbegthequestion

Just full ported into JPM, WFC, and WEN. The companies that had my trust at my worsT https://preview.redd.it/h1qimr1ypn9h1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=249673816065f0974bdbdf5de230cc94f9b9e9aa and have it now at my best. YMMV, but I know where my Starcruiser is going. To NEPTUNE AND BEYOND.

NurUrl

Yep "Investors could sell $165bn worth of stocks amid June quarter-end rebalancing: JPM" Global Institutions Selling equities buying Bonds

imustbegthequestion

At this point, it's criminal. 🥭 needs Ws. We should just feed $HOOD to them. No more teasing me $HOOD. Back to JPM and WF.

rideSKOR

JPM exec fired after dumping out this commemorative Knicks street trash can and taking it

SoloOutdoor

Hear me out, one of you at anthropic leak mythos on github. We will have it compromise a Bloomberg at JPM. Then it will post here what direction it needs to go to make Jaime Morgan a poor. We take that side, get all the money, crash the economy ourselves.

imustbegthequestion

Calls on BLOCK, JPM, WFC, and HOOD. Their AiSLoP is pretty good. Gotta go y’all. Bonne chance.

pooterssssssssss

it's NEVER good when JPM/WFC banks are leading.... dow is up 700 somehow

Schrodingers_World

it was bulltrap, JPM wins again

NoFuckingValue

Still waiting to hear back after my JPM interview. Last call was with a Director in DEI. She was a HUGE knicks fan. Told me she had her eye on some Knicks memorabilia. 

upvz

JPM: steal a trash can, you're fired! Be in the epstein files, your employment is still valid here.

FeverTreeCloud

🐻s, I know you had a bad day but at least you are not the fat JPM DEI executive who got fired for taking that Knicks colored trash bin home

imustbegthequestion

Now that we've all had lunch, and the drip is now a tsunami, can we talk about how AAL stole my racquets? I'm calling the FEDZ. You should call AAPL and retain JPM and WFC. DO NOT CALL TFC. AND EVERY CREDIT UNION IS GREAT. ALSO PNC CAUSE GO CANES AND GO PACK. Um any other manna today Megatron? No? Then I'm going to take a nap. ☠️🤣🫣🤷🏿‍♂️🤡🌈👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿💪🏿🇬🇭🥇🇺🇸🇬🇧😂⚽🐐🤡

Scribble_Box

Had to actually look it up. That's wild. She took the trash can, and JPM took the trash out. Get fucked lady 😂

Rare-Fox9834

Yes sir, crazy ain't it? You think JPM executives, you probably think someone attractive, but nope that's how real people look. Like comic book villains.

Scribble_Box

Wait... That fat lady stealing the trash can was a JPM executive? You gotta BE fucking kidding me LMAO

Rare-Fox9834

Woman was a JPM executive. Emptied a trash can in NYC and took it to a Knicks game. She got fired. Don't be the woman from NYC.

eoiioe

JPM collar is 06/30

mtnrnnr802

JPM going through it this year. Look at the cannons on this fat fuck https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/s/ftfPEZTKf4

MitchCurry

Rheinmetall just lost a €10B Germany contract to build 6 anti-submarine frigates. The contract led them to buy a shipbuilder for €1.5B as part of a broader push into naval defense, which will almost certainly be a goodwill write-down now. And expenses of \~€2.3B were already incurred for the contract, some of which RHM will end up eating. The kicker is Germany switched the contract to a RHM competitor for 8 smaller frigates. Part of me thinks this could be an opportunity as their core franchise, weapons and ammunition, vehicle systems, electronic solutions, etc., is unimpacted by this. However, I can't help but wonder if this naval yard purchase for a contract is a sign of management overdoing it and trying to do too much too fast. It feels like they've gotten away from their core competencies. I saw a note from JPM that said RHM has announced at least 10 new joint ventures since late 2024. That is broad and very fast expansion. I'll continue to watch from the sidelines.

crimepais

I assume you were too young to experience the dot com bubble since this is nothing like it. Mag7 earnings growth is in the 30%s and the total S&P for 2026 is 17% according to JPM. None of those pets.com companies ever had a shot of profitability.

ChipWong82

Anyone see the guy from JPM on CNBC this afternoon saying how wonderful it is that retail can get in IPOs like spacex and openai?

ChipWong82

Anyone see the guy from JPM on CNBC this afternoon saying how wonderful it is that retail can get in IPOs like spacex and openai?

Vlisa

The day I take advice from JPM is the day I buy VOO and chill.

bmbislt

Nope - because JPM says this is "just some profit taking"

Samjabr

Head of JPM Equities Pronounces it "NUHvidia" 🤡

cashew_nuts

My JPM position agrees

E39_CBX

JPM is an exhibitor at a conference I’m at what should I say to them?

Commercial_Seat_3704

JPM raises it's IBM price target because 🥭 name dropped them what a clown show

Rare-ish_Birb

Ima hold these SPY 700p to see if we get contagion across more sectors. Hear that JPM?!

Ok_GAINZ

topside of JPM's collar is at 6850 on SPX. 35k sold calls.(Positioned on SME instead of SPX this quarter) exp 6/30. either we magically fall to that zone, or on expiry day, if we are above, thats all mechanical buying pressure when they get rolled... fancy words, i'll lose money.

prana_fish

No it's not dipshit. JPM collar is well telegraphed and hedged the "day of" roll. People really need to stop trying to throw around the JPM collar as if they are some kind of options experts.

prana_fish

JPM collar is so well telegraphed and hedged the "day of" roll it doesn't have that much of an impact anymore

nevertradestocks

JPM already came out with article last week that $185B in equities would be getting sold this week from pension funds, hedge funds, etc

Rare-ish_Birb

There is no way JPM is worth 333$

prana_fish

Don't get what's going on with $AVGO. Last week they wanted to pump it on some bullish JPM note, right up until key 50 SMA technical level, and then immediately dumps relatively weak to the sector, start of a fresh new week. Could be more Mediatek + TPU narrative, but confused.

CEOofBeanz

Guys, I just got laid from my job. That’s what happens when you work at JPM

horesebeblind

Financials appear ready to roll. MS, JPM, GS. Maybe some industrials FDX? Rotation is inevitable. But I can’t say when

hagos20

Ok I just read all the comments and I don’t think anyone asked what % of your total portfolio is MRVL, ALAB and ASML? That’s important to know. Also, how old are you? This also should weigh on your decision. Personally, I’ve held stocks to 1000% gains (i.e. NVDA) and am still holding. But on the flip side, I’ve held stocks that I was up 100s of % on and thought it would keep going, only to watch it go lower and lower and lower all the while thinking it’ll bounce (it did not). Now at this point I’m holding until/if it recovers but only because it’s about 10% of my portfolio. You don’t want to be in this situation. For example, if ALAB drops 30% next month, are you holding or selling? What if it drops another 30% the following month? And so on. At a minimum, as everyone else suggested, TRIM. In this weird market/Trump era, I take profits when I got them. Do I miss out on some more? Sure. But I’m fine with a few 100% in a few weeks to months. Then when there’s a dip, I buy back in. Rinse and repeat until the dip just keeps on dipping. To be clear, I buy the dip with 2028 calls. I use about 40% of my portfolio for options, the rest is shares in solid companies I’m holding till I retire (AAPL, MSFT, HD, GOOGL, JPM, etc)

wtf_is_going_on_now

JPM bullish note coming out conveniently right near its bottoms.

Zipski577

Rent prices and pricing power have been declining, which could counteract energy price inflation to an extent. It hasn’t impacted CPI yet as it’s reported at an 18 month lag. Part of the reason for the decline in rental pricing power is mass deportations. And this isn’t my opinion or analysis, this is info stated by JPM’s chief market strategist.

Rare-ish_Birb

Feels toppy. Sitting on mostly cash until we get a larger correction. Won't take much if they raise rates at next FOMC 6 weeks away. Riding some weeklies puts on JPM, GS, WMT, KRE. Calls on VRTX and TMO.

ThinkingOfTheOldDays

Bought JPM in size at the close 🤷.  Day trading / flipping theme momentum & spy. What about you? Excellent call on MSFT puts a while back. Remarkably weak stock since. 

wtf_is_going_on_now

$AVGO earnings had buyside wanting a revenue forecast upgrade from $100B, which Hock Tan didn't give. Also gross margins declined slightly (they said due to SW, not AI, but whatever). Today $AVGO had a bullish JPM note out saying they have TPUs secured for at least 4 generations and that Mediatek fears were overblown. Both moves make sense in that context.

ThinkingOfTheOldDays

Yolo JPM. 

Any_Wait_3682

JPM saying rate cuts or hikes r unexpected. among other things. probs **Must be a trick.** Allegedly $10mil on QQQ 0DTE calls? idk $SPY calls. **$756 easy**, $760 EOD 🚀🚀🚀 Not financial advice. this is called **vibe trading**. 🚀🚀🚀

Salty-Bar-1975

JPM upgraded it

Salty-Bar-1975

JPM upgraded it

Rare-ish_Birb

JPM 330p 06/26 I'm officially inviting them to the MSFT party

lolgoodone34

JPM almost 1T market cap lol meme market