JPM

visionarymind

Does anyone know the updated JPM☃️ Collar🎗️Trade❓

elpresidentedeljunta

JPM report. We´ll see what heppens over the weekend.

dogs_and_stuff

JPM

Cool-Scratch-7679

i told you retards last night JPM was gonna be green dick

Nagyde2

Best advice I can give you is to be VERY aware of the content and from whom you consume content. Many Bots and People alike reflect narrow, short term views that primarily support their specific objective. Follow people who can consume data from both sides, conduct additional research, form logical opinions... There is a HUGE difference between Trading (extremely short term) and Investing (long term). When you Invest, you have to conduct unbiased research into all aspects of the Companies you uncover. Once found, you have to have conviction in your analysis. When you do, buy and hold them forever. Some that I previously came across 15+ years ago (not recommending in 2026) and began INVESTING in were JPM, Apple, Nextel (now TMUS). VTI, VT or VOO should be 1 fund in any long term investor portfolios (age would dictate weighting bias). These had their ups/downs however their returns have met/exceeded S&P500 return. 3 different sectors but the companies all have solid businesses. We need a new Warren Buffett for this current environment where Private Equity and Tech lead Imaginary (at super inflated levels) valuations and an SEC that let's such companies enter people's IRAs ,401ks... People need to also be similarly aware of WH Administration related changes as they tend to drive short term Market moves (more for Trading). I don't post much at all but saw your opening and thought I would send something.

Glum_Giraffe_8448

If nothing else this is a fuckload better than I ever got from the financial "advisors" at JPM. This doesn't stop me buying high selling low, but still have an updoot.

Sufficient_Habit5091

For "The House" to work correctly, there has to be a critical mass of intelligent and capable people running things. Even during GFC, Bush was a bona fide retard but enough people under him were considered incredibly smart, hard-working and competent. Hank Paulson was a highly respected banker that personally believed in small government. But push comes to shove, none of that shit mattered, they had to rescue the system. Despite conspiracy theories, he lost a lot of sleep, worked himself to the bone and genuinely tried to be fair and do the right thing. He desperately tried to get Bear Stearns sold for $2 a share to prevent the appearance that Federal Reserve was rescuing shareholders at the expense of everyone else. In the end Jamie Dimon pushed for $10 and actually pay more, just to get the deal done. In the end, the headaches, fines, losses ended up being not worth it at all for JPM. The taxpayers netted $2.5B though from that deal. Today we have dudes like Bessent, Pulte, Patel. Literally nepo babies and the dumbest people. So yea, "The House" is going to lose.

Federal-Watch

Did I tell you? I can’t decide between “sexy Lorna Hajdini” from JPM or “sexy Ben Rickert” from the Big Short for my Halloween costume this year

Cool-Scratch-7679

JPM is the apple of banks

Cool-Scratch-7679

JPM is flat af for 3 months and the stripper i got with had a chase sapphire, seriously calls on jpm

Cool-Scratch-7679

I fucked a stripper and now my pp hurts, calls on JPM

jayjay234

Does JPM have prediction market trading desk? I think i can get hired for it. I will prob make so much money for them.

Soffatjockis

Thinking about puts on MU just because JPM is haussing it

ab216

Buy Treasuries maturing in 7 years - 5% guaranteed JPM preferred for 6%+ (though you take call risk) Infrastructure funds will get you 7%+ but then you start taking underlying asset price risk

FuckleUp

JPM collar today always spicy eod ⬆️ or down

wiisports101

JPM go back to 337

Low_Technician9179

I have eyes on most the top players at blackrock, JPM, Jane street. If we hear them agree to tank the market this sub will be the first to know

Zebulka_

If the story was JPM expects MU to miss consensus everyone would be running to dump their shares. The comments in here are the usual WSB both-good-and-bad-news-are-bad-news syndrome.

888mainfestnow

My queries have told meto expect more tomorrow. In fact the last one told me to watch the tape on JPM at open for a drop and a lift.  I guess we will see what happens tomorrow.

FuckleUp

PCE and JPM carry trade and month end rebalancing? Yes, baby

la_lunamoon

okay sure HBM is cool and everyone is talking about bandwidth like its the new oil or whatever BUT JPM saying 2k?? bro are you drunk? i mean yeah maybe we get some tech hype pump but 2000 per share is literally insane. feels like they want us to buy high so they can exit clean. i dont care if hbm3e is magic, that target is a joke. sus af. 🤡

traderbusto

JPM sees turnaround coming for Bear Stearns

MrNo_Balls

yeah, bac and JPM tend to be wrong 100% of time, unless they want to make Leopold double down

Numerous-Stand-1841

Uh oh. If JPM is bullish publicly then it's time to inverse.

wiisports101

JPM looking good right now

wiisports101

lol I sold puts on cvna it’s been heavy support at $59 for 3 months will change my mind if it crosses over, NFLX and JPM are good 6 month out calls tho

wiisports101

JPM is getting to an attractive price if it can hold 330

Apple2o

JPM had the US on track to default within 10 years, 2 years ago, lol Hence why I’m keeping lots of gold and silver

Routine-Agent-160

Where did the JPM bots go?

bear_Prune8771

But there is. Walmart, Fed Ex, HOOD, NU, MELI, JPM, APP, and others have all confirmed AI has made them revenue.

Cool-Scratch-7679

anyone thinking JPM?

Cool-Scratch-7679

Yo JPM is down, should i all in 90k?

fire_alarmist

I have like twenty different options that are like right at the ITM/ATM boundry and literally NOTHING is moving. Not a single option moving an inch. 337.5 JPM put just AFK for literally 5 minutes its unreal. Ive never seen such blatant options manipulation

fire_alarmist

Today is the day the entire global financial system unravels, and all it took was a .6% drop in SPY LOL. JPM and all banking stocks plummeting all week. Its COOKED.

XYHopGuy

hey i went and found half of my brain thanks for the suggestion. the datacenter buildout has been covered extensively (and more rigorously) by semianalysis, the first public report coming shortly after the JPM release. https://newsletter.semianalysis.com/p/stop-saying-half-of-2026-us-datacenter https://newsletter.semianalysis.com/p/us-grid-constraints-towards-40gw https://newsletter.semianalysis.com/p/everyone-says-datacenter-moratoriums > If the data center hasn’t been built yet then the GPUs associated are not deployed because there is no where to put them. New GPUs come out annually making the ones collecting dust more and more obsolete. Buying GPUs for datacenters they dont have would be quite the story. I've seen speculation around this before based on chains of assumptions that don't match the real state of the public GPU market and model availability. considering its become easier and more available to rent the newest GPUs over the past 6-9 months, its pretty clear that capacity is coming online. Model providers have decreased prices and increased availability for models with the highest compute burden.

Lawineer

Pre-ipo SpaceX I thought it would be cool to be a part of it and wear a space x shirt or something. That and fomo because my buddies were getting in. My thesis against it was that Elon will never take anything public again (at the time, he was fighting Tesla for his comp package) About 11x on that. But my lockup period is a year so who knows. Might be 1x. Might be 20x JPM at $139: my buddy worked there. I wanted to tell him “you work for me” and generally troll him. 2.5x or so on that. Moral of the story: Regard is my strength.

imustbegthequestion

I've only connected my Robinhood that I use for research. I trade on JPM and WFC as well.

No_Cod972

MSTR is the JPM of Bitcoin

WendyDumpsterFire

JPM calls

SwedishFish123

Damn what happened fo JPM

uwontfindthisone

Why are $JPM and $SCHW dumping

vik556

Man I have 50k in JPM I’m in pain right now

WendyDumpsterFire

Why is all JPM down

Ghost_nut

JPM got fucking smashed

Fhyzikz

Just sold JPM for a huge loss. Tired of huge loss every day now

Fhyzikz

JPM to $0

TonyzTone

You can't possibly forecast it with the war being a multi-month series of "ceasefires" followed up 24 hrs. later by "target bombed." I guess the only thing you can forecast is whether inventories are steady and whether boats are getting through. I can't see that shit, but I'm sure JPM and GS can and do.

theJimmybob

$RBLX ---> $JPM still neutral rating but the tide is turning 'JPMorgan says Roblox's viral engagement inflected higher this past weekend. Peak platform concurrent users reached 28.7M on Saturday, the highest level since mid-December of last year'

imustbegthequestion

These are the real questions we need asked. @Axios, can you report on the market odds of a #TACO. How many basis points we talking? What's the ignored downside and the rational upside? Will JPM be underwriting a Kalshi bet using Robinhood? Can we get some actual fucking news?

moSNAP

Brother, totally, specifically for this year 3/27, 3/30, 3/31 was the test. U literally are done trading for the year if u slammed it like a double down on the blackjack tables. A second day is July 28-31 which I call the Leopold day aka deleveraging event. Wall street ganged up and knew his port was levered in certain ways so the AI traded rotated out to AAPL, JPM, etc and he got margin called (but up 80% at least!) Cheers to the patient ones here waiting to pounce. Let's effing go! S&P and chill. FWIW: SPYM, IVV, VOO all have cheaper fees than SPY.

PelarysJorge

The one-day move is useful as a map of changed expectations, not a verdict on bank fundamentals. For JPM I’d separate three timelines: (1) the policy surprise, which was small because 25 bps was broadly anticipated; (2) the yield-curve and forward-path reaction, which can matter more to net interest income than the headline direction alone; and (3) company evidence—credit quality, deposit mix and pricing, capital, and loan growth. Unless the third bucket changed, I wouldn’t treat the day’s price move as proof that the underlying business changed. The interesting question is what the market repriced about the path, not simply “rates up = banks up.”

dvdmovie1

Todd is gone to JPM.

Misha-Nyi

Why do you believe JPM?

EmpathyFabrication

Have you read this memo in its entirety? I'm seeing only this quote on Twitter and reported elsewhere, with some scant additional claims from the memo like "In short, there is ​still enough dry powder to keep prices contained—for now." reported at Reuters: [https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/jp-morgan-says-it-has-no-clear-oil-market-endgame-iran-conflict-drags-2026-09-17/](https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/jp-morgan-says-it-has-no-clear-oil-market-endgame-iran-conflict-drags-2026-09-17/) My argument was that JPM does have internal models, and if they're lying, they're lying and saying they don't have internal models that they do in fact have. I think it's more likely now that I've read the Reuters article that sensational reporting is half-assedly picking quotes from a JPM memo we don't have full access to

creemeeseason

Not a JPM customer, but in the long term I'd trust someone who is willing to admit they don't know over someone who lies and says they do....

EmpathyFabrication

That's a good point and it could be JPM hedging on their part so they don't commit to a directional claim, but I imagine JPM's clients, if this even was a real internal memo sent to their clients, and if JPM didn't say anything more than this, don't like uncertainty and don't like hearing "idk" from analysts. In this case it probably would have been better to deliver all their analyses to their clients, since it doesn't make sense to assume they don't have ANY internal analysis at all in any direction. Otherwise, what are these analysts doing all day? Fire them and hire analysts that make claims.

EmpathyFabrication

I'm arguing against the status quo. I think there's 100% chance of a fold and I think it's more likely Iran that's going to do the folding. My main point was that "We simply don’t know how to model..." was unprofessional on JPM's part to claim to clients because if it's true then it calls attention to the fact that their analysts don't have a predictive model, which I also already argued that they don't have, and that their clients should also already know they don't have.

Individual_Section_6

Okay bud. So you're smarter than JPM's entire commodity team? I guess you must be rich from trading commodities then right?

EmpathyFabrication

What I mean is that it's now and always has been a predictable scenario that Iran attacks tankers and shuts down the strait for a prolonged period of time. The events leading up to the shutdown shouldn't matter - US or international action, regional war, internal politics in Iran, civil war in Iran, rogue actor, etc. The fact that analysts don't have a general model or even opinion for prolonged disruption of oil traffic in one of the highest traffic places in the world is probably bullshit, and it's also probably bullshit that they don't have an opinion about this specific scenario, or JPM wouldn't have hired them. In fact I would argue that Iran is in probably the most desperate position that it could be out of all the above scenarios because of it and it's allies weak economies, weak militaries, dwindling military supplies, massive internal inflation in Iran, sanctions, and the fact that the last time there was internal unrest they had to kill like 30k people just to get the country back under control. Iran and the only countries who might reasonable bail them out (Russia and China) are under an incredible amount of pressure from economic problems with no viable militaries or force projection.

EmpathyFabrication

Financial analysts, throughout every downturn, have been unable to give banks any edge over losses, so any claims about their incompetence don't surprise me. But the fact that JPM's commodities team doesn't have anything to say about a completely predictable scenario of war in the middle east involving Iran, one of the most unstable countries in the world, attacking ships directly off their coast, is laughable. If they really did release this statement it's either a lie or someone is getting fired over it.

imustbegthequestion

They won't give me one. Fuck you JPM. Gave Leopold all my credit expansion.

Hi_Keyboard_Warriors

Till 2018 to 2021 it was like going full port etf but once I understood about the individual companies I started buying stonks like Meta (avg $98) JPM ($101) and this year it was TEAM 100k becomes over 1 mill in few years. No complains

mixtape312

JPM yesterday: "Stocks will go up 1-2% if the Fed hikes, they will go down 1-2% if they don't hike" Lmao, you couldn't make this shit up

Junior-Valuable2071

It’s because of the repo market. If the fed increases the over night funds rate it increases the interest rate at which banks borrow from each other (or from the fed) to meet reserve requirements and fund last minute liquidity needs. Banks try to have as close to zero cash at the end of the day as possible banks want to loan every dollar that they have available right up to the very last dollar required to meet their reserve requirements. Say Bank of America has extra cash at the end of the day, they turn to the repo market and see if there are any other banks out there who are going to miss their reserve requirement and are asking to borrow. Maybe JPM is about to miss their reserve requirement and wants for borrow some money. Bank of America has a choice to make. Do I loan the money to JPM overnight or do I buy some 10Y notes (because buying 10Y notes are the next best thing since it’s considered risk free money) Bank of America will compare the interest rate that JPM is willing to pay to the interest rate that they can get on a 10Y note. At the same time, JPM won’t be willing to pay Bank of America much more than the overnight federal funds rate, because again JPM can turn around and borrow from the fed instead. If Bank of America decides the overnight rate is too low, they will turn around and buy 10Y notes. And JPM will go bid on overnight funds at the fed. This exact scenario happens so often and at such high volume that it effectively ties the federal funds rate directly to the 10Y note interest rate. If the federal funds rate goes up, Bank of America can demand more from JPM on the repo market, and Bank of America is less likely to buy 10Y notes. So the 10Y rate goes up. If the fed cuts rates, then Bank of America is more likely to buy 10Y notes instead and this drives 10Y interest rates down. The entire economy looks towards the 10Y note as the benchmark for risk free return. So any other investment has to beat the 10Y note on a risk adjusted basis. If the 10Y treasury is paying more interest, then equities become less attractive investments because equities are risky. Likewise B2B loans are less attractive because why loan B2B when you can get a risk free 10Y note? Borrowing becomes more expensive for borrowers when the 10Y yield goes up.

Jobless-Dev

I've never seen these JPM notes play out as they wrote it

imustbegthequestion

I use Robinhood for research. JPM to make money. WFC to hedge.

Celticsmoneyline

new Magnificent Seven announced: XOM, LLY, JPM, JNJ, UNH, BRK, V

Sufficient_Habit5091

And they were right. Every claim was settled. You better believe a conservative financial fortress like JPM or Blackrock would get bailed out if they went under. We're talking far worse than GD2 if they were allowed to fail. But even if they were failing, no one would have access to the Treasuries backing the tokens except token holders.

Majestic_Mention171

Mfers at JPM said no rate hike would cause the market to drop 1-2% 🤣

Much_Candle_942

JPM -  JPMorgan's Kinexys unit with Ripple, Ondo Finance and Mastercard just completed near-real-time cross-border settlement of **tokenized U.S. Treasuries** — flagged as "a tangible step toward fee-generating tokenization services" that lifted the stock.

PatientAd9394

Holy JPM??!!! HERE WE GO

greytoc

A managed account fee is not based on percentage of profit. It's based on AUM or assets under management. At 21 - you probably don't need a managed account from an investment advisor. It is unlikely that you have the complexity where you benefit from using an adviser. If you don't know how to invest - use a robo-advisor. However - JPM/Chase recently shut down their roboadvisor services. Look at services from places like Fidelity/Schwab/Vanguard for low cost robo-advisors. Alternatively - just invest it yourself using broad index funds - scroll up - look at the Getting Started link for educational resources.

imustbegthequestion

I hate Bank of America. They make Charlotte miserable, they make banking miserable, they make me miserable and I dropped them 15 years ago. This shit sucks. Probably working with Leo now that JPM said no.

Rootlevelprivileges

Woah JPM

Happy-Champion1661

JPM just died wtf?

Ghost_nut

Awesome bought some JPM calls and it literally just took a giant shit lol

Straight-Annual8687

Sure, higher rates are bullish for JPM

Ghost_nut

JPM is like watch this….

theJimmybob

$JPM with the Double Secret upgrade $JPM upgrades $IREN to Overweight from Underweight - raises PT to $65 from $46

music_is_gud

JPM? Try more like Jane St or something

Federal-Watch

Bro, sorry to tell you this, but we’re all JPM bots :hmmm: You’re just losing money here by yourself :kek:

I_killed_the_kraken

If you expect interest rates to rise, which is what the data from FedWatch and Polymarket suggest, there are several options: * Banks: $JPM; $BAC; WFC; $USB. * Brokerage firms: for example, $SCHW. * Insurance companies: $ALL; $PGR. * BDCs with predominantly floating-rate portfolios: $ARCC; $MAIN.

imustbegthequestion

Zuckerberg Zuckercucked us again. FmL. I can't win against this guy. Inb4 JPM margin calls me and $LCID

Independent-Use-228

With me Trump x5 5000.000 USD check direct deposited to NY JPM alt-account. Eat me @Citadel. @sentinels555.00.pp launched and we margin called $TFC using $HOOD

HoneyBadger552

I prefer my gal Cannons. That stance. That chest. That dominating smile. I need a job at JPM

Independent-Use-228

JPM commercials make me feel poor and stupid. I could literally just do whatever they said and print forever.

Kronologics

Leopold. What a chud name. The audacity of JPM to give this degenerate BILLIONS

Aggravating_Storm835

To say Uber has no market to win/expand misses the mark entirely. Uber is like Netflix in 2015. Back then Netflix had 75% market share. Today they have about 40%. Why did Netflix growth still explode? Because the market grew despite increased competition from Hulu, HBO, Prime, Disney, and Paramount. To say they have no market to expand completely misses the mark. Car ownership costs are increasing 10% annually. The average car payment is already $650/month (before insurance, gas, and maintenance). So at current rates, the average car payment will be over $1k/month by 2035. It’s projected that 40-50% of jobs will be remote by 2035. If that happens, you can expect the average miles driven for those people will likely be cut in half to around 6k miles a year. If you’re $12k a year to drive 6k miles, that’s $2/mile. Uber even now with drivers averages about $1.10/mile. You see where this is going? Mature robo-taxi networks project to cost 50-80 cents per mile. Would you pay 4x more just to run errands and go out on the weekend? This is why JP Morgan projects the ride-share industry to hit $1-$2T by 2035. Other projections have it as high as $4T by 2040, but let’s go with JPM’s low end estimate of $1T. If we assume the industry only hits $1T and Uber’s marketshare falls similarly to Netflix’s at around 40%, that’s still $400B in annual revenue. Assume they only maintain their current depressed multiple of 3x sales, that’s a $1.2T market cap. Implied share price of $587. And that’s only the mobility side. That’s not even counting the delivery side, which expanding to become a source of having anything delivered. Even the commercial trucking industry is relying on them (Uber Freight).

johndsmits

data centers ==> new era of banks AI ==> new currency When you think about it what people are really doing with AI is no different from the 1980s of people throwing dollars into pet rocks & random sitcoms JPM is cooked.

Fair_Grocery_1839

AVAV - JPM raises price target to $210. Currently trading under $160. Jump on if you like to make money.

TreGet234

JPM upgrading meta. Euphoria is building.

baconography

Ugh. I hate how gold was turned into an equity after being hyper-collateralized by JPM.

Sufficient_Put4775

I found that trading on JPM app a terrible experience

SpiderWil

It means if u buy JPM, ur buying a company w/ empty revenue

SpiderWil

JPM been laying off a lot of employees to inflate their earning

Apple2o

Take a look at the 2 year of any bank stocks and it’s pretty much all uppies. JPM specifically hit new ATHs just off mango being announced as president

ithastogoupfromhere

will buy JPM calls tomorrow

2QuarterDollar

He needs to find a new gimmick a new narrative. Last year it was tariffs, then Iran, now it looks like he wants to play a game with the Fed. But the midterms are also coming up so I can see him attacking banks again because of high interest rates (tickers: COF, SYF, JPM BAC) he might attack or praise a specific regional bank as well. That’s were the options plays could be short term. He might also play a game with big pharma cause TrumpRx is not really taking off. And the insurance claimers like UNH, CNC, Humana might catch a stray here and there before the midterms

crazykutta

I had that happen with Sberbank. Luckily, just a couple of months ago, JPM was able to negotiate a deal and everyone was able to cash out.

Federal-Watch

Seriously, one of you cucks reported me for the JPM intern comment :kek: :kek: