TLDR

Which-Journalist-748

Can I get a TLDR?

saltoftheearth56

To be fair to pig farmers pigs also will casual eat there own children and will take a chunk out of your leg if given the chance. While they are very smart they are also quite willing and able to cause significant harm to themselves and others and will escape any fenced area you put them in and destroy the ecosystem they escape into doing as much damage to the environment as tree clearing does but over a greater area while these conditions are not great it’s to avoid pigs ripping off ear and doing significant damage to each other if feed was offered in a more communal setting. While this is not true for all pig breeds the ones that are associated with high yields of pork are usually more aggressive in nature. TLDR Given the chance the average pig would eat a human toddler and feel no guilt over it and while they are smart there just smart enough to damage to themselves and others and while these conditions are terrible the damage a free range pig can do if it escapes into the wild is far worse .

welrope

TLDR. Calls was the answer.

West_Lavishness6689

The US 10-Year Treasury yield (US10Y) is flashing BIG red lights for the economy, currently trading on the brink of the critical 5% threshold (around 4.97-4.92%). It had a rapid ascent to multi-year highs which is telling us three core things about the macroeconomic landscape: 1. inflation is reaccelerating due to the Iran war pushing oil above $100/barrel, 2. the Federal Reserve is heavily favored to hike interest rates next week (i wonder if they will actually do it...) 3. massive government deficit spending is forcing investors to demand a steeper risk premium TLDR: waiting for rate hike discussion: SEPT 16, 2026 2PM EST

GlobalResolution77

TLDR: Tendies Lost, Didn’t Recover

Alwaysfavoriteasian

TLDR: calls

dndm1

TLDR: even trump thinks his supporters are morons.

West_Lavishness6689

I put a "TLDR" at the bottom. too lazy to even scroll? damn...

ozthinker

It likely will have less impact than most people anticipated. There are going to be lots of fine print on where and how one can use that $5000, and it might be spread into smaller amounts for the next 2 years (until the next election). Maybe even part of it will not be a cash drop, but debt forgiveness or tax deduction. He's known to always throw something out there and see how people respond to it then make amendments. TLDR: Probably nothing to trade based on this "news".

SaoirseYVR

TLDR. Suggest the same to others.

MediclePhysicist

I'd like to move Stryker Corp to this list, they dropped 25% because of a hack that they said with affect Q3 and "may linger into Q4". Primarily they are talking about peripheral vascular tech which only makes up 10% of their business. Foreign policy seems to be slowing the entire medical device industry, I see Dems taking the house and getting back to some sort of normalcy on that front. It's also not some speculative tech stock. TLDR: SYK to print over the next 6 months

bptbay

I guess OP should have put a TLDR for you. They are funded for the entirety of phase 3. Specifically looking at their burn rate and cash it would bring us to almost the EOY 2027. If you have conviction, you would understand that results would come and stock price would appreciate by then, reducing the required size of dilution. If that’s your thought I also assume you’ve missed out on the massive SLS play. Read a bit more into the stocks that are posted here.

unknownpanda121

TLDR Don’t use your retirement to gamble on options.

Sufficient_Habit5091

TLDR - once people realize how much "AGI" claim is bullshit, they'll realize how big the bubble truly is. With AI you pay twice. First with your money. Second with your data and ideas that they promptly steal: Mathematician Tristan Buckmaster suggests OpenAI may have stolen his secret research that was logged privately into Codex and also try to steal credit from an Anthropic mathematician co-author in solving key Navier-Stokes problems: >I asked whether the model had been trained on, or had access to, our sessions in Codex, into which we had been putting all our drafts for the whole of this project. I was told the model did not look up user data. I asked again, about training, and I did not get an answer. AI is the biggest plagiarism machine invented. Untold amounts stolen from people without credit. It's not even just academia. Torrented and copyrighted movies, TV, books, art, music, everything. Companies unwittingly handing over all their research, ideas, and proprietary trade secrets. There's going to be a backlash.

Sufficient_Habit5091

TLDR - Everyone gonna realize AI is shit and it's a bubble. With AI you pay twice. First with your money. Second with your data and ideas that they promptly steal: Mathematician suggests OpenAI stole his secret research that was logged privately into Codex and also try to steal credit from an Anthropic mathematician co-author in solving key Navier-Stokes problems: https://cims.nyu.edu/~tristanb/statement.pdf AI is the biggest plagiarism machine invented. Untold amounts stolen from people without credit. It's not even just academia. Torrented and copyrighted movies, TV, books, art, music, everything. Companies unwittingly handing over all their research, ideas, and proprietary trade secrets. There's going to be a backlash.

Chutzpah5

Yes.. TLDR; Oura launching an $11B IPO with Robinhood as one of the underwriters (first time in their history) which totally explains why Robinhood’s CFO just casually joined Oura’s board right before the filing. Conflict of interest? Nah, just two besties helping each other sell overpriced things (oops rings) on retail investors!

DesignerMedical4782

useless hooes out here cant bake cakes. TLDR im eating some bomb homemade cake these hoes cant bake

WanderlustingTravels

Can we get the TLDR on what do here? If you were gonna drop $1k

CalebVanPoneisen

TLDR: I bought NIKE shoes for my long-toed feet uwu

OpinionMedical8744

TLDR: I got bags on bags on bags but 7-11 hot dogs are great.

SmurfingIsPooR

TLDR: Gambling addict

i30swimmer

TLDR: 60k to 100k in two years. You beat the market…

LincHamilton

I have done three posts on $OESX here since june and the stock is up 150% since then. Moreover, as I stated in my first post, it still has a long way to go. I assume people will take notice once it goes 5x, but you at least got the chance! TLDR; extremely solid company and mgmt, no dilution shit like 99% of the stuff discussed here. They have several areas of business, they serve Home Depot and entered the AI hyper scale data center sector in june. Thats the TAM of all TAMs and they developed a product that their competitors can’t match. Not investment advice and best of luck! 3rd: https://www.reddit.com/r/smallstreetbets/s/d74qVdy3VG 2nd: https://www.reddit.com/r/smallstreetbets/s/y0Mg7Zsow9 1st: https://www.reddit.com/r/smallstreetbets/s/p65c77ST53

highcommander010

not even a TLDR. just a DR

believe1182

There will not be an incoming energy crisis. This whole situation is going to be short-term pain, but not matter in the mid - long term ( > 6 months, maybe even less) There's lot's of scary headlines and bears coming out claiming a big crash is coming because of the Strait of Hormuz. Maybe the market will crash eventually but it will not be due to oil and the the Strait of Hormuz. This situation will only impact the Markets in the short-term. We all know that currently the strait accounts for the flow of around 20% of global oil and LNG. Iran is effectively holding this pipeline hostage and succeeding with many tanker attacks which would theoretically greatly impact the oil markets and broader economy. Markets are reacting significantly right now for now, but... The United States as well as China (Using the top two oil consuming Countries in the world by a large margin as an example) have shown great resilience so far to the energy crisis. The States is a net exporter of petroleum products and LNG and produces most their oil domestically while not reliant on Middle-East oil, and China is expected to use over 42% of their energy from renewable sources by end of 2026. China also has the largest supply of oil reserves made for these emergency situations (more than the initially estimated 1.5 billion barrels). China is a Country that can easily oil conservation rules that its' citizens will abide by, and can make this stockpile last over a year. The general assumption is if the situation progresses oil prices / the stock market / and Global economy will get worse. I do not believe this is true. Currently there are energy pipelines being built to bypass the SoH. 60% of oil going through Hormuz is expected to be bypassed by end or 2028 (one of the pipeline examples [https://reuters.com/business/energy/uae-accelerate-oil-pipeline-project-help-bypass-hormuz-2026-05-15/](https://t.co/LaqB8DsCsK)). This was estimated long before the Venezuela deal as well, which will also slowly support oil production from a source outside the Middle East. You might think we won't get any Venezuela oil for another 5-10 years while pipelines and drilling gets put into place. However Venezuela has 30-50 million barrels of sanctioned oil ready to go. As part of the Venezuela deal the States will get access to this ready oil immediately (pending refining). This oil once refined can be distributed immediately (Refining is a very quick process for companies in the States). Not only that but Venezuela already has brownfield and fully operational oil operations that will be used and restarted and expected to start producing within 1-2 years while the States build out greenfield operations in Venezuela. Also for Greenfield operations it's not like the States needs to wait 7-10 years and even then these projects are done in increments so smaller amounts of oil will be ready to be extracted after a few years which accelerates as infrastructure comes fully online. Also don't forget 80% of global oil supply is still operating business as usual. Not only that but more and more oil are making their way through the Strait despite increasing attacks: [https://cnn.com/2026/09/02/politics/latest-us-strikes-against-iran-marked-a-shift-in-strategy?Date=20260902&Profile=CNN&utm\_content=1788390517&utm\_medium=social&utm\_source=twitter](https://t.co/v7qtzZqkPe) Maybe you're thinking sure, but that's only 60%, well... if the SoH remains closed based on the IEA long-term report, we forecast Non OPEC Countries to scale production to account for another 20-30% of the blocked SoH oil by 2028/2029 ([https://eia.gov/todayinenergy/detail.php?id=64565](https://t.co/7pXy7qFv6T)). There are also other Countries like Canada and mentioned Venezuela I believe that can ramp up global oil supplies in the case where SoH is indefinitely closed (however this is speculative, so I won't get into it). I also believe if the Russia & Ukraine conflict resolves in the next two years that would also slowly help supply energy (but again speculative). As for the missing 20% LNG, Canada is sitting on massive Natural Gas deposits and is already expediting pipelines to supply more LNG into the world albeit by 2028 ([https://reuters.com/business/energy/ceraweek-iran-war-makes-second-phase-lng-canada-more-likely-tc-energy-ceo-says-2026-03-23/](https://t.co/WqMBCLnyWS)). The United States is also expected to ramp up it's exports of LNG if the SoH issue prolongs along with other Countries. In fact lessening our reliance on the Strait or Hormuz actually brings more certainty to the Stock market, Global Economy and oil markets, as the economy have had so many issues with some form of reliance on Iran in the past for energy. Not only that but oil exchanges via the Oman Route have slowly be increasing as time goes on despite these Iran attacks. 18 Million barrels of protected oil was transferred via the Oman route this Tuesday, and 24 million barrels of protected oil was transferred via the Oman route this Thursday (https://www.iranintl.com/en/202609053492). All of this puts extreme pressure on Iran. Iran is in a tough spot, if they do not negotiate soon and the world moves away from reliance on the SoH, they will be in an extremely bad position for Iran all while having a lot of their existing infrastructure and economy destroyed requiring them decades to rebuild. If they do negotiate, then the Global Economy improves faster and oil prices come down faster. **TLDR (I bet most of you aren't gonna read that whole thing anyways)** Iran's negotiating power decreases as time goes on as the World builds out alternatives to the SoH, which are already underway. If Iran does not come to the table not only will their Countries infrastructure be damaged that will take decades to fix but the world will have greatly reduced reliance on them geopolitically. Long-term less reliance on Iran brings more certainty to the Global Economy and the Oil markets as the world have less reliance on them and can be more aggressive with keeping Iran's potential Nuclear program at bay. If Iran does negotiate then the oil market and Global Economy will be business as usual as well.

TopGslime

Read this a few times over, not just once: (I’ve lost about the same as you ~2 years ago at 24-25 years old) > Every trader will experience this. And the ones who don’t; have either quit when they were up big enough and were too afraid to carry on hence took their chips and left, or were insiders whom never would lose in the first place. So It’s completely normal that this happens when you risk big on options and can’t cut losses / go on a losing streak and deplete capital - however it does NOT mean just because its normal that it’s a good thing. It’s not. It’s what happens when you don’t know when to quit. Hindsight is 20/20 because you could quit now and never recover, or you could’ve quit when you were at £250,000 for example and never made it past the £1 Million mark in the first place. But that’s the gamble when placed in this predicament. Best case of what to do, stripped from a non-emotional point of view, and from an outside perspective as someone who’s been in your shoes with that extreme depleted, hopeless feeling is to do this: Take your initial £60K out. Reason being is because your £60K is the capital you risked in the first place. Meaning every pound above that should not have existed had you had not stepped into options. So you must separate this perspective as - even if you never stepped in the ‘casino’ your life would still be the same with the £60K you started with. Now this leaves you with the £40K. This you need to split up into atleast 4 quadrants. It means when you’re fucking greedy and retarded, and if you lose your £10K quarter, you have 3 more chances to try to flip your £10K batches. Because you WILL be remorseful over your £1 Million loss for atleast the next 2-3 years. It’s a significant amount of money that you’re comparing to your current lifestyle and current income that blinds your thought process and blinds your decision making from the regret of failing to realise how much money that is in relation to your life outside of the options casino. Your take profits will be late because you’ll be chasing your old uPnL’s. Your entries will be based on FOMO because again you’re gonna be trying to make the £1 Million back as fast as possible. So you WILL fuck up by not following your strategy or system in the first place. If you go in again with your current £100K, with the despair you feel right now, you are almost guaranteed to fucking lose it. Could you miraculously flip it into £10 Million on a single play? Sure. On a 0.00001% chance. Because I know exactly how you’re feeling and you’re gonna punt this entire capital and wipe yourself out from a rushed play. Your only thinking about how to revenge arc your way back as fast as possible, which translates to “you’re gonna lose the remaining you have left as fast as possible”. This again is all because all of this has happened to me and countless others whom have done the same thing you’re currently in, and when it seemed like it couldn’t get worse than losing 90% of your capital, it literally got worse and you get wiped out. TLDR; £100K is still significant. It’s not £1 Million. You and I both know that. But you being in this despair emotional resentment and remorseful feeling is exactly how you wipe out a House Deposit Sum all because you’ll eagerly be trying to race the clock to try to make back the lost money as fast as possible. Which will speed up an inevitable demise to wiping out way below your starting £60K and practically down to your last £10K. And then you’ll really be contemplating if life is worth living anymore. You don’t wanna get to that place. Take your initial out whilst you’re gonna be in this regretful bad emotional place for the next 1-2 years. Split your remaining capital into 4 chances. You’re probably gonna fuck up twice, which will teach you even more lessons. The remaining 2 chances, if you split your £40K into 4’s, so your remaining £20K (£10Kx2) is where you might be able to run it back up with calculated, slower, more strategic plays. But you DON’T wanna fuck up the entire £100K you got left trying to punt it into a stupid, uncalculated, rushed play. Rushing it = you’ll lose it = you’ll wish you had the £100K capital for a really obvious play when you’re non-emotional and can see clarity again. Ultimately it’s your decision. I was left with 6 figures after my 7 figure fumble (crypto) - and i lost it. I’m back to a good place now, but it took longer and i had to revise my strategy completely whilst blocking my emotions out over 2 years - but this is what I WISH someone had told me to not lose the remainder I had out of the really hard emotional position I was in. It meant i lost, ran it up, lost it again, then finally ran it up. Meaning i had to do practically double/triple work. If someone had forced me to follow the above, i’d only have to do it once.

skymagic

Ok here's my DD. Triple job report beat, into rising inflation means Friday CPI is key for FOMC No economic data until Thursday, so trade on Friday's momentum (flat to down) Friday could confirm sticky inflation, into FOMC, Opex week after, CTAs are fully allocated and also looking to sell TLDR any pump will probably be capped or sold 🤔

Ancient-Bat8274

TLDR. Don’t care

platocplx

Here’s a great video on some of it. On YouTube look up **casual finance** and his latest video on it called “**The Worlds safest market is breaking”** TLDR shit will hit the fan if all this nonsense continues long term but there’s more complicated pieces to the bond market a sort of perfect storm is brewing.

MiserableBag6969

It doesn't read like slop but this is just too damn long to read on one sitting. At least put a TLDR on the top for dumdums like me.

YaDunGoofed

\>The problem with investing (for a newbie like me) is that I am still trying to sort out what sources are solid, what sources are bullshit. I could google it but \*\*how do I know what's real or not\*\*? This is such a fascinating question to not have an answer to and be aware that you don't have an answer. For my own amusement, let me offer some rules: 1) Have they lied before? That goes for the paper, the journalist, the person, the organization, the party, the group, etc. All levels. Then they \*\*might\* be telling the truth, but I find it's too difficult to segregate when a liar is lying and telling the truth and you just end up confused. If you ever listen to liars...you will be confused. Which makes the rest of this exercise pointless. 2) Does this person have a strong incentive to manipulate your opinion? EG Person invested in bitcoin making songs about bitcoin. 3) Are they paid to have this opinion? Eg, if they held the exact opposite opinion, would they still have a voice? Or are they paid to have exactly that opinion? As an aside, these are the people that most 'illiterate' media consumers misunderstand. A helpful fool is still a fool regardless of how honest they are. 4) Is this person suggesting there is a dramatic rift between accepted reality and their thesis? Generally liars are in that business, however, this is also where TRUE groundbreaking news fits. Here, there's no magic wand for recognizing what's true - eventually things you thought were quite unlikely end up being true. So, I find that if something is deeply improbable and I believe the character of the person saying this improbability is either honest or unknown to me: ask yourself, what would have to be true for this to be true? If those things are plausible or verifiable, then, it might be true. If they are implausible or verifiably false, consider why there would be exceptions. But otherwise it's not true. 5) What would this event have looked like and how did it play out, if we think of other similar events from the past. You get zero points here if you reference past events shared with you via a well known spokesperson. EG if a politician tells you it's exactly like that one time...you haven't answered this question. If a media personality says it's twice as bad as this other time...you haven't answered the question. 6) How urgent is their ask vs how urgent this event is usually? If there's a lot of pressure to act a way, it's either because it's important....or because it relies on a lack of verification. EG Kony 2012. TLDR: People have asked me, how do you know you're referencing a reliable source. And I find the simplest rule is simply to not take news in from anyone who lies. If they lie, I don't read their opinion.

Infinite_Risk_2010

Yes it’s going to $250-300 if market continues, within 3-6 months easily. TLDR- all capital is flowing into it. It’s like if you decided to store your ammo depot in a volcano. The richest American class of all time Is filtering money down to the most gambling class of all time, and their accounts are becoming hybrid banking/sports betting accounts linked by APIs

ClearOutWest

I tried this with Arrived. I put about $6,000 into small positions across 18 properties, split between their long and short term rentals, and let it sit for 4 years. TLDR: I am working to get what money is left out to pay off some debt instead. Between unrented time, evictions, and renter churn I "made" about $500 in dividends on my $6000 over those years. Ultimately poor liquidity means I will walk away with less to get my money back. Would have just been better off sticking with QQQ or a direct REIT if you really want RE exposure.

Fine-Pie-115

TLDR

37902

A lot of the quality paying dividend are in cyclical industries. So the key is to buy up during the trough phase of the cycle. This gets you a stronger yield as you wait for the next cycle to peak. You are never going to time it perfectly but that is not my point.  For example bought oil dividend stocks 2 years ago sold last month once the Iran war stimulated rotation into that sector. Quality Pharma and Medical device companies were cheap as hell at the beginning of this year, now they are running up as a flight to safety.  Currently is the time to be considering consumer staples and home builders such as MKC , MZTI, CAG , GEN, HLN, PG, LEN, ETC... TLDR: you can make both strong dividend yield and real returns by buying well capitalized companies during the downward trend of their respective cyclical industries. 

jasperCrow

Dummies…. They bought bonds to make it look like the bond market was cooling off so that you would buy calls. Tonight they dump the bonds, interest rates rocket tomorrow, you get scared and get rekt. TLDR puts EOD

WordsHappenedHere

The market spent weeks not caring about Iran. Nothing has changed. It’s supposed to care now? We know that over time Iran is losing strategic control of the straight. They will continue this back and forth until one side has had enough. Iran has not gotten any ships out of the straight since July. They have 3 hour lines for fuel. They will break eventually because 🥭 clearly doesn’t care about midterms. Oil is also making it out of the straight and being diverted elsewhere. Time is against Iran. Oil will collapse with or without Iran in the next 6 months. The other thing we know is Bessent starts his bond market manipulation next week. We also get an S1 filing from Anthropic next week. If that filing shows unusually strong profitability it’s going to ignite a massive AI run up. Probably in neo cloud data centers which have been beaten down. See NBIS TLDR; stop being gay and buy the fukin dip.

CalebVanPoneisen

TLDR: I’m bagholding pls halp

HaveAKlondike

TLDR

Polus43

The brown-nosing wild wild. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Cook > During his tenure as the chief executive of Apple and while serving on its board of directors, **he has advocated for the political reform of international and domestic surveillance, cybersecurity, national manufacturing, and environmental preservation.** Since becoming CEO, Cook has also replaced Jobs' micromanagement with a more liberal style and implemented a collaborative culture at Apple.[3]: 314 [4] > **Between 2011, when he took over Apple, and 2020, Cook doubled the company's revenue and profit,** and the company's market value increased from $348 billion to $1.9 trillion.[5] In 2025, Apple was the second largest technology company by revenue, with US$416 billion.[6] > Outside of Apple, **Cook has sat on the board of directors of Nike since 2005.**[7] He also sits on the board of the National Football Foundation and is a trustee of Duke University, his alma mater. Profit doubling is probably largely driven by inflation from QE during the GFC. Great job with domestic surveillance: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Center_for_Missing_%26_Exploited_Children#iOS_15_partnership_and_community_response > In 2021, the group faced criticism over a partnership with Apple to produce and implement monitoring software for iOS 15, intended to continuously monitor all users' iCloud photos uploaded as part of iCloud Photo Library "to confirm whether it contains child pornography"; He's instrumental in government agents perving on your 13 year old daughters selfies. Also great job on national manufacturing - arguably literally all he did was just outsource shit to Asia. TLDR: C-. Basically a DEI hire who was handed one of the strongest positioned tech companies. He's fine. He also oversaw the disaster that is Nike lol

greenday10Dsurfer

looked at TLDR... looked at pics - looks expensive, all of it, the food, the place so i think to myself, in this economy??? perhaps plebs can do pay in four for breakfast for special occasion or something but yeah.... https://preview.redd.it/de8wka1y7tmh1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=f787bd32aa8fe43f7101c72471f8d40695498cf7

gamersEmpire

TLDR? calls or puts and where?

StepAsideJunior

You're not wrong. However, Financial Advisors aren't for regular investors like you and me. They're for wealthy people who have millions in assets. These guys don't cherry pick stocks in an attempt to beat the S&P 500. But for someone with $5 million, real estate, and business interests, the advisor's value isn't stock picking. It's tax loss harvesting, estate planning, trust structuring, and Roth conversion strategies. They save you more in taxes than they charge in fees. Tax Loss Harvesting is one of the most underappreciated feats a Financial Advisor does for their clients (saving them hundreds of thousands if not millions each year). Nonetheless, In the last 15-20 years there have been some changes in investing. Right now many ETF's like VOO are heavily concentrated in just a handful of companies. Investing in these ETF's is you making a bet on a handful of companies in the Tech Sector. There's nothing wrong with that btw. Previously, Financial Advisors would have you diversify your investments into Mutual Funds, International Stocks, Bonds, REITs, and other financial items in order to never take a massive hit when the market drops. Knowing which ones to invest in as a regular investor even 20 years ago wasn't always obvious. Another new reality in the market today that's different from say 2008, is that there are a lot more realtor investors like you and me in it. The introduction of apps from large Brokerages makes it easy to get into investing and this has led to crowd sourcing of knowledge due to the internet. ***TLDR; For someone with $50,000, a 1% advisor fee eats 20% of your average annual returns. But for someone with millions in assets a Financial Advisor is your best bet for securing millions more and growing your wealth even further.***

zashiki_warashi_x

TLDR: couldn't make higher high -> weakness -> will break lower.

trustyjim

TDLR = Too Dong Lidn’t Read I think you mean TLDR = Too Long Didn’t Read

Monsterschneider

\*TLDR (too long didn’t read)

dinglebarryb0nds

put a TLDR at the end, you know you can say the important part of this post in 3 sentences

PaperHandsTheDip

In a nicer way, what people are saying is put a 1-2 sentence TLDR at the top, & anyone that wants to read the rest can. With no TLDR, the tldr is the title.

SunshineTradingPost

Yeah, pretty much. If you asked me where my reasoning comes from I would cite Austrian economics, like Von Mises or Hayek or Rothbard…..Or whoever… If the claim “any wage should cover the costs of living.” has already been examined by thinkers, I’d genuinely like to know who, and to study their claims even more…. But if it’s a commonplace issue amongst workers with no real moral justification other than, “It really sucks.”, and it is so much that it has become a mantra, I am much less convinced or open to the claim. Maybe this economic scenario is where thinkers began to examine UBI, or some other ideas, I don’t know. TLDR; I’ll entertain your claim if you can cite your sources

Odd_Onion_1591

TLDR: Calls on Jesus, puts on God

Captain_Lameson

Didn't listen to what Warsh said. I'll ask Gemini for a TLDR

FeverTreeCloud

# motherfucker talking for 15 minutes just to say "I am not giving out guidance anymore" # has he heard of TLDR? 😤

WordsHappenedHere

Back to tariffs and renaming bodies of water. Cool. Fat fuck thinks he is a king for real. Losing his mind. Thank god he lost IEEPA tariff powers. Bro would be trying to slap 50 and 100% tariffs when he gets mad at people again. Even the lowers he is using now are limited and likely illegal. They will be sued and lose. And prices will have already gone up and won’t come back down again. And then companies get more tariff refunds. TLDR; everything 🥭 does is inflationary. Equities higher anyways because tariff refunds flow to the bottom line.

ki3ran8793

TLDR: "it go up or maybe down"

zunzunzkreddit

If you have a diversified ETF (MSCI World etc.) lump sum. If you have something with more risk (S&P500, Eurostoxx, some Sector only etc.) DCA. Also depends on your resilience. Can you sleep at night investing lump sum and living for 10 years with -50% till it is going back up? Can you sleep at night in 10 years having done DCA knowing your 100k$ would’ve been 140k$ now having done lump sum? (Arbitrary numbers just for the explanation) TLDR: lump sum: statistically better DCA: better sleep at night, slightly worse performance

DabblingInIt

When the sell the shares that's a taxable event. Income on the share price, capital gains on the profits above. Brokerages tend to default to 'withholding shares to cover tax obligations' for the income. They also tend to bury any documentation that they did that and make it near impossible to find and prove. With past companies I've been double taxed because of it costing me tens of thousands of dollars and too much time passed by to have it fixed by time I recognized it. This year I actually caught it after doing a lot of digging through my accounts and documents. I filed it properly in an amended return. The IRS responded with a letter that made no sense and requested I fax or mail the documents within 30 days. The letter provided no fax number and no mailing address. It took me nearly the whole 30 days of attempting to call everyday to finally get someone on the phone who made some 'best guess' instructions. Those apparently didn't work because they're website say's "adjusted" to $0 from almost $6,000 return, and "completed". I haven't been able to get anyone from the IRS on the phone in the past 80 days of attempting. I finally wrote my congressman and was assigned a tax advocate who had me send them the documents and told me they will work on it for me, and to not expect to hear or see anything change until at lease December. TLDR: Make sure you get and retain documentation of tax withholdings at vesting. Brokerages are happy to silently keep that money and let you pay the tax twice. They will not report it anywhere on any 1099 for you like they should.

spaghetticode94

Here's the TLDR. You're welcome. https://preview.redd.it/xn388ffgyllh1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c04d4e5ce26502ee7c6130f4f88ddd6d1c2c511f

UnfurledCloth

TLDR? I can’t read so calls or puts and on what

Thick-Monk-969

August 20th SPY low was 762.04 then August 24th the low was 762.08. Today it made a higher low at 763 and closed well above it at 765. Potential double bottom there im already in some calls expiring next week, a break and hold above 767-768 would be a good confirmation for double bottom but im buying now and more after NVDA earnings. Im also expecting 🥭 to change his mind on Iran war as he usually averages 11 days between war on and war off and I believe that will happen next weekend. He is already privately talking to other countries such as Pakistan telling them they need to get Iran to the negotiation table. TLDR - CALLS

FeverTreeCloud

Just used a car service called Fugazi Shit was mad expensive TLDR: Calls

Stakheiko_Gitanjli

TLDR but low float so i got in lol

MachineWins

Thanks for the TLDR, that makes sense

bravobravobravo1

TLDR: "owning the libs". Long answer: Rs frequently enact a policy that hurts the little guy effective after an election, then blame the D voters. and it works bc the avg voter doesn't understand policies are usually not immediate. The Big Beautiful Bill which guts Medicare, Medaid, SNAP starts Jan 1 2027. Next year might be hell. Groceries and rural hospitals rely on govmt funding via rural individuals using these programs. Rural America will be driving further to find food and health care using a more expensive car and skyrocketing gas prices. It's amazing the con the Rs have pulled off. And becuase of the chicken tax, we can't buy better and cheaper trucks from East Asia.

VTI4LYFE69

TLDR

Top-Statistician61

Yes, I red all of it. TLDR: OP is investing 100k in a Chinese company, convinced it will fly since it got added in several ETFs. That’s the only conviction about that company OP has. 

Bl1nk9

TLDR: 0.023052 Vireo/C21 share. Have to go check how that maths.

Life_Personality_862

The data rides on an (almost) uninterrupted upward price glidepath over time, so the Y axis is sort of just another time dimension. So this Time scale A plotted against Time scale B. The volatility is not price related; it is time related. Volatility comes and goes as market events occur periodically. They don't happen all at once nor are spaced out evenly. TLDR: this doesn't mean anything other than "sometimes markets get volatile and then they calm down for a bit"

MagnesiumKitten

TLDR; Could you do the abridged version of that post?

sfw_supdood

TLDR: AI isn't being adopted broadly in tech anymore. No industry has boomed via AI. The future they are promising is a dystopian one with mass surveillance and a datacenter in each city, burning Venezuelan and Iranian oil to farm your data. Nobody likes AI, nobody has money to buy stocks off the bag holders. Short NVDA, SNDK, ORCL Not financial advice ;)

FeverTreeCloud

Bruh, there is only one way to counter Mark Carney 🍁 who used to be the Governor of Bank of Canada 🇨🇦, Governor of Bank of England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿, Harvard undergrad, Oxford doctorate, Goldman Sachs alum and so on... We have a former TV show host/multi-bankruptcy-naire as POTUS TLDR: JPOW for POTUS 2028 😤

Jerikolol

It would be necrophilia IMO. Criminal law has a very specific defined period in which it protects an individual (basically during his 'life'). Anything after death is no longer a criminal issue in regards to that specific individual. Death is usually defined as cerebral death. So, after a person dies and becomes a zombie, this is taking place after his death as defined by criminal law. Therefore it cannot be grape, since that is a law meant to protect living beings. In consequence, it could be argued that the most likely sanction would be necrophilia. The dignity of a corpse and the sacredness of burial are protected by criminal law, and by attempting to fuck a zombie, you are violating these societal values and therefore harming public morality and order. Yes, in this case, the corpse is still moving.. but it is not alive (no cerebral activity). It would be closer to an animated object, however due to the cultural significance ( the human body and the dignity that is offered to the deceased), this specific animated object should be granted protection under necrophilia laws. TLDR, dont fuck zombies, if the living dead dont bite ya dick off, the cops will

IncomingAxofKindness

You can tell he wrote his own TLDR tho

figuring_ItOut12

TLDR Trump and Blanche have no interest in Rec and neither do sufficient GQP congress critters. Nor have we seen much signaling they care about beverages. But Trump and Blanche will definitely lift our bags.../s

Ok-Reach-2580

TLDR Somehow the market hasnt priced in known conflicts and known weather patterns.

Ok_Serve_4099

TLDR , these options/ strikes didn't exist until today as a result of the stock going up. As a result the daily gain aren't available because they are brand new options being written

Squamous_Amos

This wasn’t a quick summary, and there was no TLDR. OP is in fact lying.

mfairview

Zuanics report on Canadian exports through June 2026 (need to create an account) TLDR; everything up 30%+ qoq/yoy https://zuanicassociates.com/page/sectorstudies/

Vimes76

This guy needs to start adding a TLDR, I can't even be bothered to read them anymore

VR3DD

Where tf is TLDR?

Gullible_Toe_126

TLDR: I’m out of missles.

West_Lavishness6689

The U.S. Treasury and Japan conducted a historic joint currency "intervention" (that is what they are calling it? haha) to prop up the sliding Japanese yen after it hit 40-year lows. The historic joint currency "intervention" began with coordinated market operations on July 30 and July 31, 2026. It was a massive, short-term liquidity injection rather than a continuous daily operation, hence the market turn around immediately after the July 29th "low" as some index's show. The U.S. really did participate in yen intervention, and the mechanism was specifically designed to avoid forcing Japan to dump Treasuries. The New York Fed reportedly sold euros for yen on behalf of Treasury, (maybe why the FTSE started its decline on July 29th?) while Japan could use the FIMA repo facility to obtain dollars against Treasuries rather than selling them outright. Massive win for the USA. So it this market manipulation? Yes?!?! BUT it is LEGAL?!?! A legal state-sanctioned market manipulation known as currency intervention. (look at that, they got a cool name for it 😂) This is where Central banks and finance ministries have the legal authority to intentionally distort market pricing to maintain economic stability and national security. If this is true why do markets go up or down? Well that is simple, clearly because the people at the top want something to happen so they make it happen. This is just a massive puppet show. If they are signaling strength that must mean this literally cannot go tits up. You guys were right all along. I see it now. **TLDR:** Calls. Always Calls.

baaastos

Where is the TLDR???

Ok_Supermarket6866

The absolute perfect example of TLDR

Dad_Bot22

Rumor has it OP was going to add a TLDR, but didn’t have it in them to type another 10 paragraphs.

HoustonInMiami

I just want to add something here at the end, even though I know you wom't see it after 132 of my fellow retards poetry but ill just add, that Dell you're talking about? In the higher dimensional universe? It didn't have the amazing and memmber-berry pleasure of the advertisements from Dell: "Dude you're getting a dell" So yes it's a Dell in that higher demention, but it also has for who live their Dell has zero nostalgic quality up there. TLDR: It's even worse than the Dell you know, It's a Dell that needs it's own bathroom

YaDunGoofed

> while a rich dude who have been trading for years they don't do that.. they invest specific stocks only, based on their analysis or strategy so they outperform SP500 at the end. They don’t. Stock picking is just crypto trading for the older generation. [Kinda Quixotic](https://old.reddit.com/r/investing/comments/1vrh5ff/people_who_understand_investing_well_is_it_true/p4dbfty/) is correct. The very very few people who tend to be good long term stock pickers like Warren Buffett exist they are generally judged on their sharpe ratio. There are also people who have much shorter timelines that they excel at - ie they correctly trade based on current events much more than average. These people are considered “day traders” (although nowadays a day trader is referred to as any idiot with a robinhood account they log in to daily). There are also companies that have teams of analysts poring through mean-reverting fundamentals (DFA, American funds) to overweight a given set of s&p 500 stocks and underweight another set. Overwhelmingly something like overweight Pfizer underweight Eli Lilly. There is incontrovertible evidence that this is effective. But the value gained in doing so almost exactly matches the cost. TLDR the people who you THINK are hot shit are degen gambler idiots. The people who ARE hot shit (alpha generators) generally behave differently than you describe

kushhcommander

Im not reading all of that TLDR please

Ancient_Dentist_6422

TLDR: the show must go on Y'all

OregonHotPocket

TLDR can someone ELI’mBroke((45M)Regarded))

SeaBurnsBiz

I was speaking for CPG in particular. They can't raise prices infinitely (no business can) but they are sitting better as they throw off lots of cash. Even big tech falls into this category but their prices are way higher. SaaS/software had very high multiples; they compressed and that cash went elsewhere. Lot of physical AI based businesses for sure but those prices are not cheap so it moved into "lower risk" assets that throw off cash (that's why they pay dividends). When lots of money moves towards anything, that causes prices to go up. Inflation is why the cash is going to assets like dividend companies vs bonds. And yes, they will suffer with any downturn...just like any other sector. TLDR: People will buy Coke in 20 yrs, their distribution layer is very hard to copy and actually expensive, and they throw off cash, will people buy Hubspot in 20 yrs...I dunno.

Dedomrazzzz

Bruv, next time prompt GPT to write a TLDR as well...

philmardok

the TLDR is puts. at least im pretty sure. I didnt read it

tex1ntux

TLDR: they let Steven Smith walk in 2009 https://blog.laced.com/steven-smith-design-guru-career-timeline/

EpicDOgeMC

Quants and programmers are mostly systematic/statistical traders, not fundamental ones. Their existence doesn't compete away the returns to fundamental analysis, if anything, prices only stay efficient because active fundamental investors do the price discovery. That's the Grossman-Stiglitz paradox: if nobody bothers researching fundamentals, there's no mechanism making prices informative in the first place. TLDR: Quants and Fundimentalists can not fully arbitrage eachothers profits away because they compete on different lines.

Wendys_Fry_Cook

TLDR. Nice try ChatGPT. Not getting me to sell. 

kirkegaarr

This is exactly why the US Treasury is intervening on behalf of the Yen. The BOJ has had to intervene, very reluctantly, when they yen goes to 160-165. Now the US Treasury is able to use their $1T+ in bonds as collateral to intervene in the forex market. The current limit is $60B per day, and they're asking for more because intervention is more of an event instead of a liquidity injection like $60B/month of QE. The Fed Put has moved upstream to the Yen Put, in order to keep the world's liquidity engine flowing. It's a win-win for the US too, because those dollars are going to put a bid in Treasuries and US AI investment, which our government now considers a national security interest. They likely even view AI as a deflationary counterbalance through its productivity gains. TLDR: the carry trade is going to keep carrying. Buy AI.

FeverTreeCloud

Look boys If North Korea and South Korea 🇰🇷 goes to war, it’s bullish for MU because there will be even more severe shortage for memory TLDR: 🥭 prob bought MU

shasta747

He’s a stinky gay bear, that’s the TLDR

NyelsGenovese

For those truly asking for the fries in the ba / TLDR. This is it.

Tech-100

TLDR?