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Hey boss, remember that project I said I'd been working on for months? Well, great news! ...I've scheduled a meeting to talk about getting started THIS VERY WEEK. ...and oh yeah, let me know if you have any questions about where to send my Employee of the Millennium award. Lates!
>THE UNITED STATES AND UNITED KINGDOM ARE CLOSE TO A DEAL, WITH A DEAL SET TO BE SIGNED THIS WEEK - Financial Times I wonder if bears downvote this as well. They're so desperate for the end of the world so their 1 put prints 
\*U.S. TREASURY SECRETARY BESSENT AND TRADE REPRESENTATIVE GREER WILL MEET WITH CHINA’S LEAD TRADE REPRESENTATIVE LATER THIS WEEK (MAY 9) IN SWITZERLAND This is what we’re pumping on…
>US TREASURY SECRETARY BESSENT AND TRADE REPRESENTATIVE GREER TO MEET WITH CHINA’S LEAD REPRESENTATIVE ON ECONOMIC MATTERS LATER THIS WEEK IN SWITZERLAND - SOURCES || BESSENT AND GREER WILL ALSO MEET WITH SWISS PRESIDENT KETTER-SUTTER TO DISCUSS NEGOTIATIONS ON RECIPROCAL TRADE pump on nothing 
HOW DOES SMCI DRAG TECH DOWN TWICE IN ONE WEEK 
>🚨 BESSENT REPEATS TRADE DEALS MAY COME AS SOON AS THIS WEEK Big pork deal for 3% tariff reduction
AH has no MOVEMENT  JUST TELL ME TO BUY PUTS OR CALL THIS WEEK
From Walter Bloomberg "TRUMP: NO PLANS TO TALK TO XI THIS WEEK"
#TRUMP ASKED IF ANY TRADE DEALS ARE COMING THIS WEEK: "COULD VERY WELL BE" (2 mins later) #TRUMP SAYS MEETING WITH MANY COUNTRIES, INCLUDING CHINA, ON TRADE DEALS
He's hoping for news to hit on the weekend and a gap down Monday. I would 😂 if this was announced. **TRUMP ANNOUNCES COMPLETED DEAL WITH INDIA, SKOREA, JAPAN, CHINA NEGOTIATIONS TO START THIS WEEK, PUTIN ZELENSKY AGREE TO 14 DAY CESEFIRE, JPOWELL SAYS POSITIVE PAYROLLS REPORT INCREASES WIGGLE ROOM FOR RATE CUT AT NEXT MEETING***
So you share a screenshot of unrealized gains ONE WEEK into the leaps? Black Monday confirmed.
FOMO WEEK 
https://preview.redd.it/br421retreye1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d6d6e660a21a8db1bfe7df9fe9322a91e118601 FOMC WEEK TOO
RDDT $150 NEXT WEEK 
why TF has GOOG not budged ALL WEEK is it because i bought STRANGLES
You joke, but i personally know 20 million people who died from fentanyl just LAST WEEK. This is a small rural town in Pennsylvania so we all knew each other.
So 35% less imports NEXT WEEK. People are losing their jobs left and right but things are peachy 
I BOUGHT THIS WEEK 
BREAKING: WHITE HOUSE SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER REPEALING THE FLSA. CHILDREN AS YOUNG AS 8 ARE PREDICTED TO BE ALLOWED TO WORK UP TO 24 HOURS PER WEEK CALLS ON LITTLE JOHNNY PUMPING SHAREHOLDER VALUE 
From an outsider‘s perspective, US stockmarket has become uninvestible for me. (Geeman investor) Sectet meetings from administration withbindustry leadees about tarriffs, billionaire club to get ‚access to the president‘, US continuing to want to annex Canada, pesident complaing at ownee of Amazon about mentioning the cost of tarriffs on Mazon haul, tarriff excemptions that mysteriously only apply to Tesla cars. This is just ONE FUCKING WEEK of news from over there. Plus tons of terrifying domestic policies that make me feel sick in my stomach. No thanks, I do not invest in stocks in corrupt authoritarian banana republics. At most I invest in interest paying assets in such countries. But the dollar is falling. I said it and stand by it: i will only put money back into any US stock once these guys have a democratic adminsitration and the situation with using executive ordees instead on congressional debates is completely reformed. Nobody cares about my measily investments, which is ok. And I hope this somehow magically gurns out fine for my fellow intelligent and compassinate redditors that live over there.
>The Port of Los Angeles is now expecting a 35% drop in cargo NEXT WEEK due to tariffs. >Retailers now have about 5-7 weeks of full inventories left. Guys.. It's over. Now lets pump this fucker to 580 by Friday
attention bers who think we'll go down once 🥭 tweets some dumb crap: >HE'S BEEN TWEETING EVEN DUMBER CRAP FOR THE PAST WEEK AND WE'RE STILL GOING UP 
# STORE SHELVES EMPTY IN ONE WEEK. 
"MICROSTRATEGY INC - SELLS 4,020,000 MSTR SHARES FOR $1.40 BILLION FROM APRIL 21-27 - SEC FILING" * MSTR AND BITCOIN REGARDS REALLY THINK THIS IS A LEGITIMATE PUMP L00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000L * LITERAL PONZI SCHEME DILUTING SHARES $1.4 BILLION A WEEK IN ORDER TO PUMP THE UNDERLYING, $535 Million the week before L000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000L * MSTR GOING UP WHILE BEING DILUTED 10%! BULLISH!
Oh shit, this really is gonna be **DRILL WEEK** ?
BTC STILL GOING TO 100K THIS WEEK THO 
USDA WAS ELIMINATED A WEEK AGO. 
Waymo is doing 250k robotaxis PER WEEK. TSLA is late for that train already
I am green on the day but once again NOTHING HAS CHANGED SINCE LAST WEEK lol. This shit doesn't make any sense and it feels like a veeeeery big pump and dump is going to happen
"ELON MUSK AND TREASURY SECRETARY SCOTT BESSENT GOT INTO A SCREAMING MATCH IN THE WHITE HOUSE IN FRONT OF TRUMP LAST WEEK BESSENT SLAMMED MUSK’S OVERPROMISED AND UNDERDELIVERED DOGE PLANS WHILE MUSK CALLED HIM A “SOROS AGENT” AND HIM OUT FOR A “FAILED HEDGE FUND” PER AXIOS" Insane, Bessent seems like the only admin guy who actually cares about stability at all, so I do hope he can win the internal struggles going on atm for the markets sake
NEXT WEEK 250p TSLA NOW!
INTEL TO ANNOUNCE PLANS THIS WEEK TO CUT MORE THAN 20% OF STAFF 
NEXT WEEK: I am going to drop Nukes on Ukraine if they don't sign a peace deal. The world economy starts to crash,, day after Trump says, it was fake news..
Dude we have numerous examples in the LAST WEEK ALONE of massive Call/Put flows happening at 358 or 359 and then news coming AH that benefits those trades. Its clear market manipulation. If you are making money off of it, cool, good for you. But to act like people complaining about it "cant respect themselves" is pathetic. The president is actively leading to insider trading, pump and dumps with his shitcoin, and other BS. If Biden was doing this the rebpublicans would be talking about it 25/8, somehow finding a way to talk about it more than 100% of the time. Its a fucking disgrace and mockery of open markets, and the SEC cant even do anything about it because Trump controls them too.
May historians never forget. On the eve of the 3 WEEK anniversary of liberation day, mango man folded for the second time in order to save his drug addict buddy from a bad ER 
Elong staying on DOGE 1-2 days a WEEK.
Elong staying on DOGE 1-2 days a WEEK.
>WHITE HOUSE: TRADE TEAM MEETING WITH 34 COUNTRIES THIS WEEK 34 countries: what are your demands? WH: lol, I dunno, you first.
>WHITE HOUSE: 18 PROPOSALS ON PAPER FOR TRADE DEALS >WHITE HOUSE: TRADE TEAM MEETING WITH 34 COUNTRIES THIS WEEK They're in damage control mode now
>WHITE HOUSE: TRADE TEAM MEETING WITH 34 COUNTRIES THIS WEEK Are these "34 countries" in the room with us right now?
DIAMOND HAND TIL THE END OF WEEK I already deleted the app 🌈
What a WEEK, huh 
TRUMP: GOOD CHANCE OF RUSSIA, UKRAINE DEAL THIS WEEK right
market is finally coming to a realization that this is a global level escalation. and my short positions keep printing. STILL FUCKING MAD ABOUT LOSING MONEY ON THAT SHORT SQUEEZE A WEEK AGO BUT WE MOVE 
PANIC WEEK!!! (jk, QQQ will probably be green by 11 am. Retail isnt done throwing all their money into leveraged ETFs yet -_-)
MOVES FOR THIS WEEK  GLD CALLS, GDX, NEM, IAU  NVDL PUTS 
HOPEFULLY RUSSIA AMD UKRAINE WILL MAKE A DEAL THIS WEEK. BOTH WILL THEN START TO DO BIG BUSINESS WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Guys, if i ever get this dementia, just shoot me, and dont miss 
BLESS DADDY MANGO, BLESS US THIS WEEK https://preview.redd.it/e2rkwl3r42we1.jpeg?width=271&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61f500c8cd54b7b11060e6237bfedfb2e68450c2
"HOPEFULLY RUSSIA AMD UKRAINE WILL MAKE A DEAL THIS WEEK. BOTH WILL THEN START TO DO BIG BUSINESS WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHICH IS THRIVING, AND MAKE A FORTUNE!" Another signal chat cryptic clue, puts or calls on AMD 
TRUMP: HOPEFULLY RUSSIA AND UKRAINE WILL MAKE A DEAL THIS WEEK Is this why crypto is up lol
\>HOPEFULLY RUSSIA AMD UKRAINE WILL MAKE A DEAL THIS WEEK. BOTH WILL THEN START TO DO BIG BUSINESS WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHICH IS THRIVING, AND MAKE A FORTUNE! chat is he telling us to buy AMD
HOPEFULLY RUSSIA AMD UKRAINE WILL MAKE A DEAL THIS WEEK. BOTH WILL THEN START TO DO BIG BUSINESS WITH THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHICH IS THRIVING, AND MAKE A FORTUNE! Calls on AMD???
GIVE ME VOLATILITY THIS WEEK 
It will buddy NEXT WEEK IS GONA BE CRAZYYYYY
AND EVERY WEEK since wall street does not rely on any data but DJT tweets or speeches...smh, should be by July when the Tarrifs kick in again, or he announces a deal was done with the penguins,
PLTR??? lmao the ONE stock that is insanely overvalued, you bought an overvalued stock !!!!!!!!! Stop watching Youtube AND do some Math! It doesn't matter if you only held NVDA you should've HELD NOTHING, but (noone) can TIME the market! I LOST money, YOU LOST MONEY, WE ALL LOST MONEY! DCA each month in different stocks if you can't sleep! The first time I lost, I puked and couldn't EAT for a WEEK. Whatever you do though don't sell and wait a good decade until it's back to where it was.
WEEK pays weekly TBILL dividends
YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP FUCKING BUYING SAME WEEK EXPIRATIONS!! I can write a whole essay as to why but I’ll keep it brief…. The Theta is significantly smaller 1 or 2 weeks out. Meaning… you’ll lose less premium every min/ hour/ day due to time decay. The Delta is significantly larger. Meaning… you’ll gain more premium for every $1 change in the stock. Besides these 2 very important Greeks, you have more time for the stock to make the move you want it to. Because of the Theta/ Delta difference I just explained above - you need the stock to make a significantly smaller move to profit the same amount/ make any profit all. Yes, I understand the cost basis will be greater. But that shouldn’t matter unless you plan to hold it to expiration and let the option become absolutely worthless like a fucking moron or don’t have the capital to afford it. Good luck bois 🍀🤞
ON HOLY WEEK, gotta thank the heavens for such a miracle
cuz fking bloomberg sent out a rehashed article from LAST WEEK about China being open to talks
wtf gold is up 10% in the LAST WEEK. The world is ending.
WHYYYY DIDNT I BUY SPY LAST WEEK 
\*Crashes stock market 20%\* \*Stock market rises 4% in a week\* WE HAD THE BEST WEEK IN THE STOCK MARKET EVER. NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE -DTJ
TRUMP: "LARGEST STOCK MARKET GAIN IN HISTORY LAST WEEK" 
INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK COMING SOON!!!! Apple building beautiful facilities JOBS JOBS JOBS! BIRTCOIN FUTURE!!!! GYNA MUST PAY!!!!! does anyone even believe this shit any more?
>🚨 TRUMP: LARGEST STOCK MARKET GAIN IN HISTORY LAST WEEK oh? 
DO YOU HAVE A MESSAGE FOR HOLY WEEK 
$MSFT - OPENAI IS PREPARING TO LAUNCH NEW AI MODELS AS SOON AS THIS WEEK- THE INFORMATION #Pamp it.
$MSFT - OPENAI IS PREPARING TO LAUNCH NEW AI MODELS AS SOON AS THIS WEEK- THE INFORMATION #Pamp it.
2 hours ago- ANNOUNCE TARIFF RATE FOR SEMICONDUCTORS OVER THE NEXT WEEK
TRUMP: ANNOUNCE TARIFF RATE FOR SEMICONDUCTORS OVER THE NEXT WEEK. Morning lutnick says 1 or 2 months. Wtf.
**BERS GETTING CRUCIFIED FOR HOLY WEEK** 
GOLD ABOUT TO FALL OFF A CLIFF THIS WEEK. Germany is considering withdrawing 1,200-ton gold stockpile, worth $124 billion, from US over concerns over 🥭 policies. For decades, Berlin has stashed 1,200 tons of its famous gold reserves, the second largest on the planet after those of the United States, in a vault deep underground at the US Federal Reserve in Manhattan. Source: the telegraph.
LISTEN BABE! I never once said that I wouldn't go to the movies with YOU. ALL I SAID was that I did not want to do to DINNER. WHY DO YOU IGNORE THIS FACT! I will GO TO THE MOVIES with you when we get groceries, SOMETIME NEXT WEEK, because its already en route. NOBODY SAID that I wasn't going to go to the movies!!! FAKE NEWS
its not misinformation. its lack of a plan from the top executive. its changes on a day-to-day basis when it takes a cargo ship TWO WEEK AND A MILLION DOLLARS IN FUEL to travel across the pacific. jfc
It reminds me of when tariffs were advertised and threatened with neon lights and a broadcasted “LIBERATION DAY IS COMING IN ONE WEEK! TUNE IN AT 4PM ON APR 2! NOT APR 1 BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU THINKING IT’S A JOKE.” from the Douchebag in Chief himself. The market even was green that day, then 4pm hit and the idiot actually followed through with the details (stupid and moronic and incorrectly calculated as they were) and the markets tanked hard for 2-3 days. Feels like people are just holding their breath for the next shoe to drop (shoe # 20 at this point).
WHAT NOW YALL IM LOSING $30,000 NEXT WEEK 
GUYS MY TAROT CARDS SAY SPY GONN DRILL ALL WEEK
I suppose I just want people to think about this possibility: Monday: Retail - BUY BUY BUY CHIPS ARE BACK! Wednesday: Trump - Here is my simi tariff package, it's the best, some would say "wow, how did you ever come up with this" and I just look at them and say "because I am a stable genius" Friday: Retail - "yeah, I cannot make my mortgage payment now" \---NEXT WEEK--- Trump: "we are going to do a 90 day pause on the simi tariff as well... we have great deals coming, the best deals some would say, but it's going to take time to negotiate"
The type of liquidity they would need is going to be enormous if this continues. If they injected that much inflation would most certainly be cooked if it turns out not to be a crisis. The current Fed is not going to do that until something breaks. **ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS SO REGARDED HE REVERSES HIS MASSIVE POLICY SHIFT IN LESS THAN A WEEK TIMEFRAME.** Idk what kind of copium you are smoking but it’s definitely an addiction and not helping you
It worked with the DEI removal of historic figures? Like how they pulled Colin Powell off the list of notable people buried at Arlington national cemetery LAST WEEK? Great job, love all the "fighting" you did to prevent that /s
If there was a quickest way to retire this week, it’s this. Options in a Roth, completely tax free. Text me your address so I can borrow your printer after you PRINT THIS WEEK 🚀💰
I WAS ABSOLUTELY FLAILING THIS WEEK SANITY PRESERVATION PLAY: i'm balls deep in GLD over the weekend. TIME TO NOT LOSE MONEY HOPEFULLY
Like 0.1-0.3% in a WEEK.
BONDS  SETTLE IN PEOPLE, YOU WILL WEEK TO AFFORD YOUR GOVERNMENT ISSUED BUG SOYLENT IN YOUR GOVERNMENT ISSUED HOME.... ENJOY AND MAKE SURE TO RATION FOR A RAINYYYY DAYYYYYY
You blew it with the last sentence. He will absolutely make it through his term, and then, if he is alive, he will try to remain for another. That's what you get when half the voting population is enthralled in a cult where the leader can do no wrong. We went from "only stupid libs think he will actually impose any tariffs" to "tariffs are great and making America great" to "thank you orange Jesus for pausing the tariffs!" Spewed by the very same people. In the span of A WEEK!
Gotta POSITION MYSELF TOMORROW FOR BLOODY MONDAY NEXT WEEK
We're still $40 over the lows OF THE WEEK. What kind of psychopath is buying tomorrow and holding over the weekend?
Wake up. The DOJ is openly threatening workers against whistleblowers. The WH spokesperson says that the government will be looking for US citizens to deport at their whim and SCOTUS took away due process— that’s just THIS WEEK. IF SEC still exists they only exist to hurt the citizenry.
Is this better? I incorporated some elements from other comments. JUST HAD A BEAUTIFUL AND VERY PRODUCTIVE CALL WITH PRESIDENT XI, LEADER OF CHINA. THEY ARE VERY CLOSE TO SIGNING A DEAL AND I AM HOPEFUL, FOR THEIR SAKE, THEY WILL SIGN “THE DEAL” THIS WEEK. A TOP TEAM IS BEING SENT TO MEET WITH ME, AND I LOOK FORWARD TO DISCUSSIONS. THEY ARE IN A MUCH WEAKER POSITION THAN WE ARE, AND THEY KNOW IT! THEY HAVE NO CARDS LEFT TO PLAY!!! HOLD THE LINE!!! DJT
**I WIILL NEVER FORGET THIS WEEK** 
we are having liberation day EVERY SINGLE WEEK!
Good luck y’all. CRAZY WEEK
Damn 1st time America's had a Recession, a Depression, a Golden Age and a stagflation all IN THE SAME WEEK LOL
Remember when active war plans were leaked to a member of the press by accidently adding them to an unsecured chat? yeah. that was LAST WEEK and we're already on to new nonsense. This next 4 years is going to age me 12...
> But that’s not even 1 week’s worth of supply in the US! This made me laugh. As a Indian we see a bunch of obsessed people lined up to buy iPhones these days, but I didn't realize they were essential to survival in the US. "**One we- ONE WEEK? Listen to me. We have people dying out there, not a single new Apple product for weeks. We need at-least 1 month's supply doc.**" *- Quote from upcoming Marvel movie, An Apple a Day*
'Member back in the ancient before-times, when Musk sold Twitter to himself using xAI investor cash? Believe it or not, that was just LAST WEEK!
Welcome to IV crush!  Also, what the fuck is the point of buying $460Ps for THIS WEEK after SPY was already down $130 in 6 weeks? Not to mention we bounced above the 2021 high on Monday... Fun fact: The decline from ATH to this week's low matches the 2022 decline to within $0.50. Wild
Every week, EVERY FUCKING WEEK. I buy Tesla puts which print for like a day then tanks..